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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #culture of innovation, #less work, #stop criticizing

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CEO: We need to foster a culture of innovation. Does anyone have an idea how we can do that? Dilbert: You could give us less work and you could stop criticizing every idea we have. CEO: Does anyone have a suggestion that isn't ridiculous?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back

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Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #meetings, #new product ideas, #brainstorm, #no criticising, #less effective, #stem cell technology

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Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #criticize employees, #recreational criticising, #read email, #alice needs to talk

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The Boss thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I'll feel better if I criticize some employees." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "I'm doing some recreational criticizing. What do you have for me?" Dilbert responds, "E-mail." The Boss yells, "You read e-mail like a chimp!" Dilbert replies, "Alice said she needs to talk to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2003's comic on:


Tags #criticize things, #dont understnd, #kyoto treaty, #flat tax, #unfair, #stem cells

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Dogbert: I've decided to spend more time criticizing things I don't understand. I say we should flat-tax the kyoto treaty all the way back to the security council, Dilbert: wouldn't that be unfair to stem cells? Dogbert: Bah!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #complaining, #performance review, #nice leadership, #pile of cake, #lack confidence

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Performance Review Boss: Tina, you lack confidence. Tina: That's because you keep criticizing me! Nice leadership, you perspiring pile of pound cake! Was that better or worse? I can't tell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #frustration, #deliverable deadline, #proactive, #opposite of proactive, #empowered employees, #bad morale, #big bungler, #open door policy

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Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!

Winning The Meeting

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Winning The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #game, #cruelty, #insult, #criticism

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Wally: Meetings used to be frustrating and boring until I gamified that situation. Now I try to win meetings by criticizing co-workers offering no ideas of my own, and leaving without any new task. Dilbert: You call that winning? Wally: Compared to my victims, yes.

Bossercize

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Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

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Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.

Candor Monster

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Candor Monster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster

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The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!