Crush On Dilbert Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Crush On Dilbert
View 1 - 10 results for crush on dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Crush On Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 13,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #department, #image, #problem, #crush, #paper clip, #Dogbert
Transcript
A man asks Dilbert, "How's the new secretary for the department working out?" Dilbert replies, "I think he's having a self-image problem." The secretary sits at his desk and says, "Sure, I'm a secretary, but watch me crush this paper clip!!"
Wednesday October 14,
1992
Tags #the boss, #smell, #creative, #idea, #formed, #building, #crush, #new, #trap, #suggestion, #box, #Dilbert
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . I smell a creative idea being formed somewhere in the building." The Boss sniffs the air. The Boss sits in a window in the top floor of an office building. He thinks, "I must find it and crush it." Dilbert and a man stand in front of a suggestion box while the Boss hides around the corner. Dilbert says, "Hey, this is new." The man says, "It's a trap!!"
Friday April 23,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #options, #engineer, #retire, #major, #catastrophe, #consultants, #project, #teams, #real, #crush, #marketing, #donuts
Transcript
Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."
Tuesday February 11,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #robots, #requires, #vast, #strength, #protect, #harm, #humans, #robot, #code
Transcript
Dilbert says to a robot, "Remember, the 'Robot's Code' requires you to use your vast strength to serve, protect, and never harm humans." The robot says, "Ha! I didn't sign any 'Robot's Code.' In fact, with my vast strength I can make YOU serve ME!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I forgot to program in the 'Robot's Code.'" The robot reaches toward Dilbert's head and says, "Maybe I'll crush your head just for fun!"
Monday November 23,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #persecuted, #centuries, #righties, #arbitrary, #distinction, #matter, #hand, #favor, #thick, #normal
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with two Elbonians. One Elbonian says, "We left-handed Elbonians have been persecuted for centuries. We must crush the righties!" Dilbert asks, "Don't you see that it's only an arbitrary distinction? Isn't it obvious that people are the same no matter what hand they favor?" The Elbonian replies, "No, that isn't obvious to us at all." Dilbert waves his right hand and says, "Geez, you lefties are thick. I'm glad I'M normal."
Tuesday November 30,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #mentoring, #matt, #co worker
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Matt is fresh out of engineering school. You'll be his mentor." The Boss continues, "Whatever you do, don't crush his spirit before Wednesday." Dilbert asks, "Why put it off so long?" The Boss replies, "Because I bet ten bucks we could string him along until Thursday."
Tuesday February 15,
1994
Tags #trying to please, #fool, #better please, #crush you, #selfish dogbert, #justa thought, #others, #threatened
Transcript
Dilbert: "I can't live my life trying to please others." Dogbert: "I think I can speak for all others when I say, 'Fool! You'd better please us or we'll crush you!'" Dilbert: "It was just a thought." Dogbert: "We 'others' don't like to be threatened."
Wednesday October 25,
1995
Tags #terrible news, #valuable porject, #three morons, #assigned, #crush them, #carl, #nothing valauable, #shoo shoo
Transcript
Dilbert lies on the couch with his knees bent and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "Terrible news: my boss assigned me to a fun and valuable project." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh. That means at least three morons will be assigned to similar projects. You must find them and crush them . . ." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Back at the office, Dilbert enters a co-worker's cubicle and says, "Carl, old buddy, whatcha workin' on these days?" Carl waves his hands and says, "Nothing fun and valuable. Shoo shoo!!"
Monday March 11,
1996
Tags #new product deal, #alert in effect, #danger new idea, #crush o matic
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."
Wednesday March 19,
1997
Tags #confides in alice, #crush on dilbert, #desiring engineer, #report, #tech writer, #wrong situation
Transcript
Tina and Alice sit at a table. Tina says, "Alice, I think I'm developing a crush on Dilbert." Tina asks, "Is that so wrong?" Alice replies, "Apparently it is." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, appears and says, "I have a report of a tech writer desiring an engineer."