Curing Cancer Comic Strips
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6 Results for Curing Cancer
View 1 - 6 results for curing cancer comic strips. Discover the best "Curing Cancer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 10,
2008
Tags #time management expert, #evaluation, #curing cancer, #extra hours, #increase chances
Transcript
Dogbert the Time Management Expert. Dogbert says, "I can tell by looking at you that it doesn't matter what you do with your time." Dogbert says, "I don't think you'll be curing cancer if I give you a few extra hours per week." Dogbert says, "In fact, it would probably increase your chances of getting it." A man says, "Are we done? I need a smoke?"
Sunday February 09,
2020
Making World Better Place
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!
Tuesday May 23,
1995
Tags #salary deonds, #Opinion, #interest in understanding, #dogcart relations, #hype performance
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."
Monday October 19,
2015
The Danger Of Sitting
Tags #work, #office, #sitting, #chair, #health, #working, #sedentary, #danger
Transcript
Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.
Saturday April 14,
2018
No Path To Success
Tags #proof, #guilt, #exoneration, #accusation, #negative
Transcript
Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.
Monday October 05,
2020
Astrology Filter
Tags #apathy, #Astrology, #business, #incoherent, #sense, #strategic, #technology
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.