Current Version Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

90 Results for Current Version

View 1 - 10 results for current version comic strips. Discover the best "Current Version" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2000's comic on:

Tags #current version, #making changes, #slap forehead, #test software, #major changes

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you test the software today?" Dilbert answers, "No. I'm making major changes Tuesday." The Boss replies, "You could test the current version." Dilbert slaps his forehead exasperated at the Boss' response. The Boss looks at Dilbert and says to himself, "I wish people wouldn't slap their foreheads and say 'Aye-yi-yi-yi' every time I talk."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2003's comic on:

Tags #new version, #every feature, #current version, #leapfrog competition, #better products, #pile of crud

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Hey, it's a customer!" The boss: "You're in luck; our next version has every feature you'll ever want!" Man: "It does?" "I was ready to buy your current version... but I guess I'll wait." The Boss: "When will our new version be ready?" Dilbert: "In a year." "The new version will leapfrog our competition." Man: "Leapfrog? That implies that they have better products right now." The Boss: "BUY OUR PRODUCT, YOU STINKIN' PILE OF CRUD!!" "SLAP!" "I have to run. Try not to blow the sale."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1996's comic on:

Tags #ken from sales, #nobody buys, #current prodcut, #new version, #entire product line, #biggest comepetitor, #brisk sales, #commissions galore, #justice, #idiots punished

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says to Dilbert, "Yo, Dil-man!" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Ken from sales." Ken says, "I told our biggest customers how great our next product will be. Now nobody will buy our current product." Ken asks, "When will the new version be available?" Dilbert replies, "In a year or two." Ken looks shocked. Ken says, "Hmm . . . I seem to have single-handedly destroyed an entire product line." Ken continues, "Luckily our biggest competitor is hiring sales people. And I'm betting THEY'LL have brisk sales this year! Commissions galore!" Dilbert thinks, "If there's justice in this world, the idiots will be punished . . ." Dilbert thinks, ". . . Before they get promoted." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Um . . . We need the new version by Tuesday."

Version 2 Kills

Thank you for voting.
Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2020's comic on:

Tags #business, #upgrade, #software, #technology, #version, #health, #issue, #nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2012's comic on:

Tags #hats, #inventions, #brainwave reader, #nearest computer thoughts, #blurry image, #video, #beta version, #video quality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brainwave reader invention can control the nearest computer with my thoughts. Boss: Why am I seeing a video of a blurry image that looks like you slapping another blurry thing that looks like me? Dilbert: I don't think it's fair to complain about the video quality of the beta version.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2012's comic on:

Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1995's comic on:

Tags #current resume, #new vp, #obvious prelude, #massive staff cut, #worried, #all have resume, #massive disloyalty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like each of you to give me a current resume." Waving his hands, the Boss continues, "Now, don't be alarmed. It's just so the new VP can get to know you. It's not an obvious prelude to massive staff cuts." Wally, Dilbert and Alice immediately hand resumes to the Boss who asks, "Should I be worried that you all have a current resume on you?" Wally answers, "Don't worry. It's not an obvious prelude to massive disloyalty!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1996's comic on:

Tags #co worker, #current job, #engineer, #higher salary, #throughly unqualified, #unrealistic plans, #wally resign, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand in the office kitchen. As he pours himself a cup of coffee, Wally says, "So I'm thinking I'll resign, then I'll reapply for my current job at a higher salary." As they walk back to their cubicles, Dilbert says, "That's a good plan except for the fact that you're thoroughly unqualified for your current job." Wally says, "I need to share my unrealistic plans with a friend who isn't an engineer." Dilbert says, "I'm more of a co-worker than a friend, per se."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1996's comic on:

Tags #dogcart consulting, #add credibility, #selfish, #idiotic opinions, #current budget, #tingle, #i feel, #credibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert wears a sorcerer's hat. He says, "The Dogbert Consulting Company will add credibility to your own selfish and idiotic opinions." Dogbert continues, "For example, your current budget should be . . . Um . . ." The Boss says, "Doubled." Dogbert says, "Doubled. It should be doubled." The Boss says, "Hey, what's that tingle I feel all over my body?!!" Dogbert replies, "Credibility. If you want another hit, it'll cost you."