Cut Throat Comic Strips
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144 Results for Cut Throat
View 1 - 10 results for cut throat comic strips. Discover the best "Cut Throat" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 14,
2003
Tags #leave work early, #don't walk past, #office of boss, #just from roof, #land in dumpster, #leadership, #cut throat
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday April 16,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #yank, #loose threads, #cut, #better, #Lose, #head
Transcript
Dilbert looks at his shirt sleeve and thinks, "Loose thread." Dilbert grabs the thread and thinks, "I can't remember if it's better to cut these or just yank on them." Dilbert yanks the thread and his head collapses into his shirt.
Monday November 18,
1991
Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #announcing, #staff, #reduction, #expenses, #paid, #year, #risky, #cut
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "Our CEO is announcing a ten-percent staff reduction to cut expenses." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't our CEO get paid twenty million dollars this year?" The Boss replies, "Yes . . ." The Boss continues, "But risky jobs deserve higher pay." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't you say WE were getting cut?"
Thursday January 06,
1994
Tags #boss brain, #profitable, #cut costs, #selling products
Transcript
"The boss's brain." "Hummm." "Theoretically, if I cut costs enough we'll be profitable without selling any products." "How do they get the ink in these things?"
Saturday February 26,
1994
Tags #cut budget, #spinning, #flung, #space, #locusts, #fling locusts
Transcript
Tina: "According to you, if I cut your budget the world will abruptly stop spinning and we'll be flung into space." Tina: "Whereas, the risk of cutting Dilbert's project is '...a plage of locusts o'er the land.'" "I'll cut both projects. With any luck, we'll fling the locusts into space." Wally: "Locusts. Real good."
Monday March 28,
1994
Tags #commercial prodcuts, #secret, #evoultion, #zimbu the monkey
Transcript
Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?
Wednesday July 27,
1994
Tags #broke code, #can't be measured, #cut pay, #depend on meeting, #own darn fault, #sales targets
Transcript
"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"
Wednesday October 05,
1994
Tags #benefits, #define reality, #half the cost, #keep objectives, #rewrite business case, #cut funding
Transcript
The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?
Saturday June 03,
1995
Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money
Transcript
An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."
Monday June 19,
1995
Tags #hired, #finance, #dept, #cut spending, #studying, #inefficeincy, #boldface, #electricity, #money
Transcript
Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I've been hired by the finance department to help cut spending." Ratbert continues, "I'll be studying your every move and looking for waste and inefficiency." Looking over Dilbert's shoulder at his monitor, Ratbert says, "Those words in boldface look like they're sucking up the ol' electricity."