Search Results for "dad"
Share December 03, 1990's comic on:
Dawn the Dinosaur hands Bob an egg and says, "It's your turn to baby-sit the egg, Bob." Bob throws the egg into the air and thinks, "I used to love it when my dad tossed me in the air." Bob thinks, "This dad stuff is easy." Dawn watches him toss the egg and looks furious.
Share July 21, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert and Liz are having tea with Dilbert's mother, who says, "It's really different around here since we lost Dilbert's dad." Liz asks, "When did he die?" Dilbert says, "He's not dead. We lost him at the mall, Christmas of '92." Liz looks shocked and asks, "Shouldn't you be looking for him?" Dilbert's mom replies, "I said it's different, not worse."
Share September 02, 2007's comic on:
The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."
Share July 22, 1995's comic on:
Liz is having tea with Dilbert and his mother. Liz says, "I can't believe your father has been lost at the mall since 1992!" Liz continues, "If my father or my husband were lost at the mall I'd be searching for him twenty-four hours a day!!" Dilbert comments, "We're waiting for a sale." His mother says, "You're a bit of a whiner, aren't you, dear?"
Share January 27, 1991's comic on:
Rex: Dogbert, can I ask you a question? Dogbert: Sure, little Rex. Rex: What's the difference between good and evil? Dogbert: Well, evil is all the stuff you want to do... And good is the stuff that others force you to do. Rex: My dad says that good is what you know in your heart. He says evil is a bad gut feeling. Dogbert: Well, of course, your dad's brain is so tiny that his other organs have to pitch in like that. Rex: Maybe I shouldn't learn about life from a guy who counts with his toes. Dogbert: And thinks with his guts.
Share July 14, 1998's comic on:
Wally, The Boss' son, and Dilbert sitting at a table. The Boss' son says, "My dad taught me everything I know." The Boss' son, Dilbert, and Alice sitting at table. The Boss' son continues, "He used to say 'Don't drink the pickle juice until the pickles are gone.'" Wally asks, "Was that a big problem at your house?" The Boss' son answers, "Have you ever been hit in the eye with a pickle?"
Share December 28, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."
Share October 12, 2015's comic on:
Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.
Share February 20, 2016's comic on:
Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.