Data Mining Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

171 Results for Data Mining

View 1 - 10 results for data mining comic strips. Discover the best "Data Mining" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2000's comic on:

Tags #dogcart consults, #data mining, #uncover sales, #mine data, #messages, #tie and shirt, #messages from god

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults: The boss is sitting at his desk and Dogbert is on top of his desk. Dogbert says to the boss: "You need to do data mining to uncover hidden sales trends." Dogbert says: "If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God." The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, on the table Dogbert has sheets of paper and shows them to the boss there is also a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "...sales to lefthanded squirrels are up...and God says your tie doesn't go with that shirt."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2000's comic on:

Tags #gigantic database, #customer behavior, #information, #non linear math, #data mining technology, #optimize retail channels, #spam, #meeting here

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We have a gigantic database full of customer behavior information." Dilbert says, "Excellent. We can use non-linear math and data mining technology to optimize our retail channels!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "If that's the same thing as spam, we're having a good meeting here."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2000's comic on:

Tags #dogcart consults, #data minig, #another message, #stealing lunches, #refigerator, #break room, #pudding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2000's comic on:

Tags #data, #make face, #quite shoccking, #sales higest, #mining data

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is wearing a mining hard hat. The boss says: "Our consultant has been mining all day." Dogbert says: "The results are quite shocking." The boss is sitting between Dilbert and Dogbert, he is reading a sheet of paper. The boss says: "According to the data, sales are always highest when I do this..." The boss pulls the side of his mouth with one hand and pulls his nose up with the other, Dilbert and Dogbert look at him.

Data Encapsulation

Thank you for voting.
Data Encapsulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2018's comic on:

Tags #inheritance polymorphism, #managing, #bullying, #data encapsulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know the difference between data encapsulation and inheritance polymorphism? The boss: No. Dilbert: Then how can you manage someone who odes? The boss; Do you know the difference between managing and bullying? Dilbert: No. The Boss: Problem solved.

View more books now

Bad Data

Thank you for voting.
Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2018's comic on:

Tags #data, #information, #accuracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What does the data tell us to do? Dilbert: We only have bad data on this. Boss: Does the bad data suggest we should do what we wanted to do anyway? Dilbert: Well, yes. Boss: That's called "good data."

Massive Data Breach

Thank you for voting.
Massive Data Breach - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2018's comic on:

Tags #data, #facebook, #privacy, #apology, #statement, #big business, #lying, #damage control

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.

Adjust The Data

Thank you for voting.
Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office, #research, #tests, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2011's comic on:

Tags #cartoonists, #ventriloquism, #writing, #hand puppet, #data overload, #ridiculous, #poorly written story, #case closed

View Transcript

Transcript

Police says, "We have a report of a pointy-haired boss being stunned by data overload, stuffed, and used as a hand puppet." Alice says, "That's ridiculous. It sounds like the plot of a poorly written story arc." Police says, "It sounds poorly drawn too." Alice says, "Case closed, right?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2011's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"