Dating For Fix It Skills Comic Strips
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393 Results for Dating For Fix It Skills
View 1 - 10 results for dating for fix it skills comic strips. Discover the best "Dating For Fix It Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 30,
1995
Tags #built a spreadsheet, #relative qualities, #twenty percent, #stop dating, #wrong formula, #higher math skills, #error intentional, #batch of flowers
Transcript
Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."
Friday May 23,
2008
Tags #free tech support, #self awreness, #grow to love, #dating for fix it skills
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I think my girlfriend is only dating me to get free tech support." Dogbert says, "I'm very surprised you think that." Dilbert says, "Because it's unlikely?" Dogbert says, "Because it shows self-awareness." Dilbert says, "She might grow to love me." Dogbert says, "And... back to normal."
Tuesday November 19,
2013
Tags #dating, #engineers, #engineer, #excellent employment, #potential, #social skills, #relationships, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Hi. I'm an engineer. That means I have excellent employment potential and I can fix things around the house. Woman: How are your social skills? Dilbert: Wow. Look who wants the moon.
Saturday January 23,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #romance, #interpreter, #logically, #solve, #emotional, #problems, #reasons, #fix, #hear, #wisdom, #compassion, #arouse, #talk, #himself, #dating, #women and men
Transcript
Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."
Sunday August 24,
2014
Tags #programming skills, #next hire, #python, #java, #php, #solve, #ignorance problems, #gap in knowledge, #string theory, #graviton
Transcript
Boss; What programming skills should I be looking for in our next home? Dilbert: Jquery, ruby,HTML5, Python , Java , PHO and of course, C++ BOSS: Maybe you could wrote this down. Dilbert: Sure. That should totally solve your ignorance problem. Are there any other gaps in your knowledge that I can fix by writing things down? Dilbert: How about string theory? I can explain that in a few words. Graviton....supersymmetry....perturbation...M-theory. Boss: I know string theory now.
Wednesday December 31,
2014
Dilbert Does Online Dating
Tags #dating, #internet dating, #low standards, #online dating, #triple threat, #six feet tall, #hair, #height, #job, #business, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!
Monday January 05,
2015
Dating Is A B Testing
Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science
Transcript
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.
Wednesday May 11,
2016
Company Policy About Dating
Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.
Friday October 06,
2017
Ceo Uses Dating App
Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships
Transcript
CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!
Thursday March 28,
2019
Dating A Unicorn
Tags #business, #dating, #office, #office workers, #unicorn
Transcript
ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.