Dating Service Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

277 Results for Dating Service

View 1 - 10 results for dating service comic strips. Discover the best "Dating Service" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #dating, #service, #deep, #down, #fantasy, #woman, #modelled, #brochure, #francis, #kris

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Dogbert's Dating Service." A man says, "I'd like to sign up." The customer continues, "Although deep down I know that all of the people in your service are men, I cling to the fantasy of meeting the woman who modeled for your brochure." Dogbert says, "She's taken, but I can match you with somebody named 'Francis' or 'Kris.'" The man replies, "There's hope!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #digital, #dating, #service, #loser, #velveeta, #digitize, #picture, #hair, #nose, #tan, #photoshop

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says "Dogbert's Digital Dating Service." A man enters and says, "I'm a loser. Sign me up." Dogbert aims a camera at the man and says, "Say 'Velveeta.'" The man smiles. Dogbert sits at a computer and says, "Now we digitize your picture for the database." Dogbert says, "I could add some digital hair." The man replies, "Good idea." Dogbert says, "Maybe I should bob your nose and give you a tan." The man says, "That's fair." Dogbert asks, "Whiten teeth? Smooth wrinkles? Hide stomach? Thicken lips?" The man replies, "Yes" to all of his questions. The man looks at the final photo and says, "I look like Sandra Bernhard." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but you have to admit it improves your odds."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #combined, #dating service, #online job site, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

"I combined an online dating service with an online job site and an online auction site." "You tell the system everything about yourself and see if anyone wants any of it." ""I wouldn't date you or hire you, but I'll bid a dollar for your refrigerator.""

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcarts dating service, #Advice, #accomplishments;lishments, #hate men, #designated bragger, #humble, #potential problem, #makeup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is preparing for a date. He combs his hair. Dogbert sits on the bed and says, 'Women like men who have accomplishments. But they hate men who boast." Dogbert says, "I will be your designated bragger, allowing you to appear humble." Dilbert says, "One potential problem with this plan is that I have no accomplishments." Dogbert says, "If she isn't wearing makeup, we'll be honest, too." His tail wags.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #non smoker, #oil him up, #ordering repair guy, #shave back, #tall, #repair guy, #copier

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says into the telephone, "And I'd like the copier repair guy to be a tall non- smoker with well-defined abs." Carol continues, "Oh. You're not a dating service, eh? Well if I give you money and you send some guy then it's just semantics." Carol continues, "And could you shave his back and oil him up before you send him?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #fast date, #technologically, #incompatible, #internet connection, #slow connection, #4g service, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.

Dilbert Does Online Dating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Does Online Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #internet dating, #low standards, #online dating, #triple threat, #six feet tall, #hair, #height, #job, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!

Dating Is A B Testing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating Is A B Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.

Company Policy About Dating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Ceo Uses Dating App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Ceo Uses Dating App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!