Dead Squirrel Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

221 Results for Dead Squirrel

View 1 - 10 results for dead squirrel comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Squirrel" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2008's comic on:

Tags #dead squirrel, #insulting, #knitting sweater, #makeup, #meeting, #no potential benefit, #time management, #time management expert, #woman as example, #hideous outfit, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2009's comic on:

Tags #Environment, #cups, #paper, #hot, #ridiculous, #animal, #shocked, #crazy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2011's comic on:

Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #finishing projects, #early, #powerpoint, #presentation, #executive retreat, #dead boss hand puppet, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2011's comic on:

Tags #dating, #inventions, #dead end job, #developing an app, #spare time, #lottery ticket, #odds of success, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It might look as if I'm in a dead-end job, but I'm developing an app in my spare time." Woman says, "Here's a lottery ticket. I just doubled your odds of success." Woman says, "I bought two for myself so I don't need to make an app."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2011's comic on:

Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2012's comic on:

Tags #money, #flew to veags, #difficult game, #few beverages, #drop dead, #adult bevarages, #goaway, #est, #co workers, #pai gow, #weekend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard you flew to Vegas and played pai gow all weekend. Wally: Go away. Dilbert: That's a difficult game to learn after having a few adult beverages. Wally: Drop dead. Dilbert: How'd you do? Wally: Leave me alone!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2012's comic on:

Tags #frustration, #mobile (cell) phones, #dead battery, #charge cell phone, #too busy, #no time

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: You never answer when I call your cell. Wally: My battery is dead. Co-worker: Maybe you should charge it for once. Wally: I don't have time for that. Co-worker: What do you do all day that makes you so busy? Wally: For starters, I have this conversation a lot.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #elevators, #riding, #woman, #straight, #ahead, #dead, #social anxiety, #naturally, #acting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a woman in an elevator. Dilbert thinks, "Riding elevators is so awkward." Dilbert thinks, "Stare straight ahead . . . Don't breathe . . . Don't fidget . . . Don't blink . . . Arms hang like limp weights . . ." The woman thinks, "I think he's dead." Dilbert thinks, "Above all, act naturally."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #body, #ground, #flying, #dead, #beautiful, #god, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert floats through the air thinking, "Uh-oh. That looks like my body on the ground." Dogbert thinks, "I must be dead. And that light . . . It's beautiful . . . It must be GOD!!" The caption says, "Next: a really big let down." Dilbert shines a flashlight on Dogbert who is sleeping on the chair.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #first, #date, #elvis, #sexy, #dead, #woman

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, I know it's only our first date, but what do you think of me?" The woman replies, "You remind me of Elvis." Dilbert thinks, "Sexy." The woman thinks, "Dead."