Dead Squirrel Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

225 Results for Dead Squirrel

View 1 - 10 results for dead squirrel comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Squirrel" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead squirrel, #insulting, #knitting sweater, #makeup, #meeting, #no potential benefit, #time management, #time management expert, #woman as example, #hideous outfit, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Environment, #cups, #paper, #hot, #ridiculous, #animal, #shocked, #crazy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."

Customers Are Dead People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Customers Are Dead People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #customer, #lists, #dead, #alive, #lie, #activist, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #finishing projects, #early, #powerpoint, #presentation, #executive retreat, #dead boss hand puppet, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #inventions, #dead end job, #developing an app, #spare time, #lottery ticket, #odds of success, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It might look as if I'm in a dead-end job, but I'm developing an app in my spare time." Woman says, "Here's a lottery ticket. I just doubled your odds of success." Woman says, "I bought two for myself so I don't need to make an app."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #flew to veags, #difficult game, #few beverages, #drop dead, #adult bevarages, #goaway, #est, #co workers, #pai gow, #weekend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard you flew to Vegas and played pai gow all weekend. Wally: Go away. Dilbert: That's a difficult game to learn after having a few adult beverages. Wally: Drop dead. Dilbert: How'd you do? Wally: Leave me alone!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #mobile (cell) phones, #dead battery, #charge cell phone, #too busy, #no time

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: You never answer when I call your cell. Wally: My battery is dead. Co-worker: Maybe you should charge it for once. Wally: I don't have time for that. Co-worker: What do you do all day that makes you so busy? Wally: For starters, I have this conversation a lot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elevators, #riding, #woman, #straight, #ahead, #dead, #social anxiety, #naturally, #acting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a woman in an elevator. Dilbert thinks, "Riding elevators is so awkward." Dilbert thinks, "Stare straight ahead . . . Don't breathe . . . Don't fidget . . . Don't blink . . . Arms hang like limp weights . . ." The woman thinks, "I think he's dead." Dilbert thinks, "Above all, act naturally."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #body, #ground, #flying, #dead, #beautiful, #god, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert floats through the air thinking, "Uh-oh. That looks like my body on the ground." Dogbert thinks, "I must be dead. And that light . . . It's beautiful . . . It must be GOD!!" The caption says, "Next: a really big let down." Dilbert shines a flashlight on Dogbert who is sleeping on the chair.