Death Penalty Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

243 Results for Death Penalty

View 1 - 10 results for death penalty comic strips. Discover the best "Death Penalty" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #badly, #Dogbert, #death, #penalty, #walkman, #attorney, #district

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert says, "The trial is going badly, so I'm trying to make a deal with the District Attorney." Dogbert continues, "He offered to give me a Sony Walkman if you will accept the death penalty." Dogbert continues, "I think I can get a Walkman for you, too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catbert hr director, #went nuts, #vending machine, #offer counseling, #more economical, #death penalty, #possible, #microwave oven

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Dilbert, "This report says you went nuts at a vending machine because it took your money." Dilbert sits with his arms crossed over his chest. Catbert continues, "The company used to offer counseling in these cases. But we found it was more economical to apply the death penalty." Dilbert looks shocked. Dilbert asks, "What?! How is that possible?" Catbert replies, "I'm not sure yet. You're too big for the microwave oven . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #address envelope, #death penalty, #helpless, #master plan, #one way trip, #solve small problems, #speaking engilsh, #training, #south korea

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."

Death In The Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #Catbert, #death, #Family, #dies, #specific

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office buildings, #work ethic, #new cubicles, #death eater gray, #soul sponge, #absorb happiness, #fear of the unknown

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #optimism, #projections, #realistic, #optimistic, #near death, #hallucination, #luci dream

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #death & dying, #could go wrong, #did go worng, #closer to death, #creepy

View Transcript

Transcript

Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #waiting, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Grim Reaper, "Look, Mr. Death, now that you know I'm the wrong guy, why don't you just leave me alone." The Grim Reaper replies, "I hate to waste a trip. Suppose your number comes up tomorrow - I gotta come all the way back. Just let me hang around today. You won't even notice me." Dilbert says, "THIS is gonna be a very long day." The Grim Reaper follows him and asks, "So, how do you feel?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #devil, #lettuce, #prince of insufficient light, #phil, #penalty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Ha! The store under-charged me twelve cents, and I'm not telling them." Phil pokes Dilbert with his spoon and says, "Hey!" Dilbert says, "I know you. You're the Ruler of Heck, the 'Prince of Insufficient Light.'" Phil says, "Just call me Phil, please." Dilbert asks, "What's my penalty? Eternal damnation?" Phil says, "I'm just going to 'darn you' for fifteen minutes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"