Death Threat Comic Strips

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285 Results for Death Threat

View 1 - 10 results for death threat comic strips. Discover the best "Death Threat" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tips today, #how much, #three breath mints, #death threat, #scrawled napkin, #napkin guy

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Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."

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Death In The Family

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Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #Catbert, #death, #Family, #dies, #specific

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Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

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Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat

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the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office buildings, #work ethic, #new cubicles, #death eater gray, #soul sponge, #absorb happiness, #fear of the unknown

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Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #optimism, #projections, #realistic, #optimistic, #near death, #hallucination, #luci dream

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Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #death & dying, #could go wrong, #did go worng, #closer to death, #creepy

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Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #waiting, #medical

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Dilbert says to the Grim Reaper, "Look, Mr. Death, now that you know I'm the wrong guy, why don't you just leave me alone." The Grim Reaper replies, "I hate to waste a trip. Suppose your number comes up tomorrow - I gotta come all the way back. Just let me hang around today. You won't even notice me." Dilbert says, "THIS is gonna be a very long day." The Grim Reaper follows him and asks, "So, how do you feel?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #cheat, #death, #frisbee, #athlete, #scrabble, #allowed, #august, #bone, #boy

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The caption says, "Dogbert tries to cheat death." The Grim Reaper says to Dogbert, ". . . So, if you catch the Frisbee you can live." Dogbert says, "Wait!" Dogbert continues, "I've never been much of an athlete . . . Let's play 'Scrabble' for my life instead." Dogbert and the Grim Reaper sit at a table playing Scrabble. The Grim Reaper asks, "How much time are you allowed for your turn?" Dogbert replies as he walks away, "I'll see you in August, bone boy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #uncle, #tim, #lost, #froze, #death, #camping, #compass, #jammed, #north, #south, #directions

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk looking at family photographs. Dilbert says, "Here's a picture of Uncle Tim before he got lost and froze to death camping." Dogbert asks, "Didn't he have a compass?" Dilbert replies, "His diary said it got jammed." Uncle Tim walks through a blizzard. Tim looks at his compass and thinks, "Just great . . . I need south and all I get is north, north, north."