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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2000's comic on:

Tags #tips today, #how much, #three breath mints, #death threat, #scrawled napkin, #napkin guy

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Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."

Death In The Family

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Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2018's comic on:

Tags #carol, #Catbert, #death, #Family, #dies, #specific

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Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2011's comic on:

Tags #office buildings, #work ethic, #new cubicles, #death eater gray, #soul sponge, #absorb happiness, #fear of the unknown

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Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2011's comic on:

Tags #lying, #optimism, #projections, #realistic, #optimistic, #near death, #hallucination, #luci dream

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Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anxiety, #death & dying, #could go wrong, #did go worng, #closer to death, #creepy

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Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1989's comic on:

Tags #death, #waiting, #medical

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Dilbert says to the Grim Reaper, "Look, Mr. Death, now that you know I'm the wrong guy, why don't you just leave me alone." The Grim Reaper replies, "I hate to waste a trip. Suppose your number comes up tomorrow - I gotta come all the way back. Just let me hang around today. You won't even notice me." Dilbert says, "THIS is gonna be a very long day." The Grim Reaper follows him and asks, "So, how do you feel?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #cheat, #death, #frisbee, #athlete, #scrabble, #allowed, #august, #bone, #boy

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The caption says, "Dogbert tries to cheat death." The Grim Reaper says to Dogbert, ". . . So, if you catch the Frisbee you can live." Dogbert says, "Wait!" Dogbert continues, "I've never been much of an athlete . . . Let's play 'Scrabble' for my life instead." Dogbert and the Grim Reaper sit at a table playing Scrabble. The Grim Reaper asks, "How much time are you allowed for your turn?" Dogbert replies as he walks away, "I'll see you in August, bone boy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #uncle, #tim, #lost, #froze, #death, #camping, #compass, #jammed, #north, #south, #directions

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk looking at family photographs. Dilbert says, "Here's a picture of Uncle Tim before he got lost and froze to death camping." Dogbert asks, "Didn't he have a compass?" Dilbert replies, "His diary said it got jammed." Uncle Tim walks through a blizzard. Tim looks at his compass and thinks, "Just great . . . I need south and all I get is north, north, north."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #death, #therapist, #sorrow, #bottled, #legally, #inherit, #humans

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Dogbert lies on a couch and says to a therapist, "I haven't been able to cry over Dilbert's death." The psychologist takes notes. Dogbert continues, "I really miss him, but I keep my sorrow bottle inside." The psychiatrist asks, "Did you know that dogs can't legally inherit from humans?" Dogbert bawls.