Defend Comic Strips
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7 Results for Defend
View 1 - 7 results for defend comic strips. Discover the best "Defend" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 22,
2004
Tags #defend against lawsuits, #records retention policy
Transcript
The Boss: "To defend lawsuits, our records retention policy has been updated to include this..." Bam! The Boss: "What was I talking about?" Wally: "The records retention policy."
Thursday April 15,
2021
Project Is Not Feasible
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #plan, #feasible, #back stab, #defend, #laptop, #cell phone, #competition
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.
Thursday September 23,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #jail
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a jailroom. Dilbert says, "I bet I've gone to jail more than the average law-abiding citizen." Dogbert replies, "I plan to defend you by proving your victim was a temp worker." Dilbert asks, "It's legal to kill a temp? Really??" Dogbert says, "Now all we need is a jury of your 'peers.'"
Friday July 12,
1996
Tags #ranking, #rating system, #salary depnds, #bpss, #defends, #managers, #ring a bell
Transcript
The Boss's secretary tells Dilbert, "He's with the other managers in an employee ranking and rating session." The secretary continues, "Your salary depends on how well your boss can defend your proposed raise to the other managers." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. A man says to the Boss, "I'm fairly sure this Dilbert guy works for you." The Boss replies, "Doesn't ring a bell."
Friday February 28,
2003
Tags #big mouth, #bloated, #employee, #taunting, #toxic co worker
Transcript
Headline: The Toxic Co-worker. Toxic Tom approaches Alice and says, "You wouldn't believe what people are saying about you." Toxic Tom continues, "I tried to defend you. I said you look slow only because you're bloated." Toxic Tom continues, "But what ticks me off is that everyone in the department earns more than you do." Alice clenches her teeth and holds back her fist.
Thursday March 24,
2005
Tags #software integration, #coworkers, #misundertsanding, #abuse, #insisting on defense, #what i think, #halluciante
Transcript
Tina: "How can you think that the software integration project is a waste of time??!" Dilbert: "I don't.' "But if history is my guide, you will abuse the next hour of my life by insisting that I defend your misunderstanding of what I think." Tina: "So why do you think it's a wast eof time?" Dilbert: "Do you mind if I work while yo uhallucinate?"
Sunday April 07,
2013
Tags #accusations, #anxiety, #continuous barrage, #firewall, #inevitable villager, #pessimism, #villagers with torches
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I want you to install the new firewall. Dilbert: Noooo!!!! Why me? Why me? The firewall guy gets blamed for every problem. People will say "Everything worked until you changed the firewall." There will be no rest for me. I will have to defend myself against a continuous barrage of accusations. It's always the firewall! Everyone blames the stinkin' firewall! I surrender to the inevitable! Villagers, grab your pitchforks and torches! Boss: How did he get that way? Wally: I blame the firewall.