Delusional Boss Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Delusional Boss

View 1 - 10 results for delusional boss comic strips. Discover the best "Delusional Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretary, #carol, #order new chair, #new chair smell, #chair desert roll, #not important enough, #smelly chair, #mean nasty, #self centered, #delusional boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.

Dilbert Characters

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

Making Your Boss Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Making Your Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #ego, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Fyi Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fyi Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Boss Needs Copies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #frustrated, #irritation, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

Boss Surgery

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Agreeing With The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!