Depend On Meeting Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

932 Results for Depend On Meeting

View 1 - 10 results for depend on meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Depend On Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broke code, #can't be measured, #cut pay, #depend on meeting, #own darn fault, #sales targets

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Four Hour Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

Dilbert In Wrong Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert In Wrong Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awkward, #meeting, #embarrassed, #embarrassment, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.

Attend A Meeting In My Place

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attend A Meeting In My Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #frivolous, #stand-in, #time management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.

Optimal Meeting Density

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Optimal Meeting Density - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuses, #excuse, #meeting, #meetings, #powerpoint, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...

Meeting To Decide When To Meet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting To Decide When To Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #schedule, #thursday, #berate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?

Pre Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #pre-meeting, #canceled, #sarcasm, #business, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Email Versus Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Email Versus Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #email, #hugs, #e-card, #co-workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: is there anything you plan to do in this meeting that we couldn't have done more easily by email. alice, boss & dilbert sitting at table saying nothing. boss: hugs? dilbert: send me an e-card.

No Time Before Next Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.