Depraved Practice Comic Strips
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31 Results for Depraved Practice
View 1 - 10 results for depraved practice comic strips. Discover the best "Depraved Practice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 03,
1995
Tags #sex after marriage, #depraved practice, #liberals, #headaches, #fatigue, #become consultants, #extinction of mankind, #right winger
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing headphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "Today we're talking about sex after marriage. Many liberals support this depraved practice but I do not." Dogbert continues, "It can lead to headaches, fatigue and unwanted family members who become consultants." A caller asks, "Wouldn't your philosophy lead to the extinction of mankind?" Dogbert replies, "Cry me a river, Liberal."
Tuesday October 15,
2019
Practice Makes Perfect
Tags #managers & supervisors, #practice, #estimate, #errors, #business, #incorrect
Transcript
boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.
Thursday April 27,
1989
Tags #laughing, #practice, #sneeze
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror and says, "Hoo-hoo-hee-ha! . . . No, that's not it." Dilbert sits on the bed and asks Dilbert, "Do you suppose other people practice laughing when they're alone?" Dogbert replies, "Of course." Dogbert says, "Time for your sneezing drill." Dilbert says, "Other people make it look so natural."
Saturday November 16,
1996
Tags #brian, #work for comapny, #job interview, #practice interview, #done here, #lunch time, #don't see sandwhiches
Transcript
Dilbert and a man sit at a table. Dilbert says, "So tell me . . . Brian . . . Why do you want to work for this company?" The man replies, "Well, to be honest, I don't. I'm using this as a practice interview." Dilbert says, "I guess we're done here." Brian looks at his watch and says, "Hello-o-o!!! It's lunch time and I don't see sandwiches."
Wednesday June 11,
1997
Tags #hearty slap, #practice swings, #visiting the customer, #smile, #less follow thorugh, #aim higher, #trans suddenly
Transcript
Kenny tells Dilbert, "When I introduce you to the customer, smile and give him a hearty slap on the back." Kenny says, "Get ready. Here he comes." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better take some practice swings." The customer lies on the ground. Kenny tells Dilbert, "Next time, less follow-through, aim higher, and if he turns around suddenly, hold off." Dilbert says, "Sorry."
Saturday May 01,
2004
Tags #invoices, #unauthorized dedcutions, #standard industry practice, #dance like chickens, #chicken are funny
Transcript
Dogbert: "You can rob your small suppliers by making unauthorized deductions from their invoices." "When they complain, say it's a standard industry practice and threaten to take your business elsewhere." "The make them dance like chickens." The boss: "Ha! Ha! Chickens are funny."
Saturday November 03,
2012
Tags #interviews, #10thousand hours, #practice, #expertise, #resume, #job interview, #incompetent menace, #interview practice, #manager resposibility
Transcript
Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.
Thursday February 07,
2013
Tags #work ethic, #10 thousand hours, #practice, #willingness, #mental disorder, #mediocrity
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show it takes ten thousand hours of practice to be great at anything. Dogbert: I would think a willingness to practice the same thing for ten thousand hours is a mental disorder. Dilbert: That makes me feel better about my mediocrity. Dogbert: You're welcome.
Saturday December 07,
2013
Tags #public speaking, #telephones, #public address button, #calls, #talking to doctor, #talking dirty, #practice
Transcript
Carol: You keep pressing the public address button on your phone when you make calls. We can't tell if you're talking to your doctor or you're really, really bad at talking dirty to your wife. Boss: I use one to practice the other.
Thursday October 09,
2014
Tags #high five, #human resources, #managers, #work ethic, #trash talking, #emplyee, #boss, #desk, #practice, #cat, #human, #animals, #business
Transcript
Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~