Desktop Publishing Comic Strips
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8 Results for Desktop Publishing
View 1 - 8 results for desktop publishing comic strips. Discover the best "Desktop Publishing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 27,
1992
Tags #questions, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #technical, #marvel, #desktop, #publishing, #immense, #wisdom
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."
Sunday November 20,
1994
Tags #share accomplishments, #created dcoument, #desktop publishing, #two day class, #digitized photos, #color highlights, #multi column, #clip art, #icons, #visual mosaic, #add topic, #some content, #enjoy work
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let's go around the table and share our accomplishments." Dilbert says, "I created a document this week." Dilbert continues, "But THIS is no ordinary document!" Dilbert explains, "I bought a $500 desktop publishing program and took a two-day class to learn it." Dilbert continues, "I incorporated digitized photos and color highlights in a multi-column page layout!" Dilbert continues, "Clip-art icons are sprinkled liberally around the page to form a visual mosaic!" Dilbert continues, "Next week - God willing - I'll add a topic and some content." The Boss says, "Do you remember when I said you should enjoy your work? I didn't mean it." Dilbert says, "Ooh."
Tuesday June 07,
1994
Tags #video conference, #desktop, #telecommuting, #level of professionalism, #share document, #next time
Transcript
"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."
Monday June 27,
1994
Tags #book publishing, #reject people, #dismiss lifes work, #gesture, #witty comment, #not a people person, #dog, #animals
Transcript
"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."
Tuesday June 28,
1994
Tags #book publishing, #reject authors, #untalented dolts, #publish something, #conventional wisdom
Transcript
"How's the book publishing business coming along?" "Great!" "I get to reject dozens of authors every day! I call them untalented dolts and they THANK me for it." "Eventually, you have to actually publish something." "Yeah, well, that's the conventional wisdom."
Thursday June 30,
1994
Tags #does not meet needs, #publishing needs, #plot was lame, #hated characters, #association, #insulting author, #mean publisher, #insulting publisher
Transcript
"Dogbert the Publisher" "Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs." "Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. And by association I have come to hate you too." "For safety reasons, I hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would use the return envelope you provided but I'm afraid you might have licked the stamps."
Friday September 17,
2010
Tags #book deal, #ghost writer, #dog, #publishing, #first draft, #quotes, #knife, #dying, #dead, #wave hand, #animals
Transcript
Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."
Sunday September 14,
2003
Tags #keeper of giant binder, #secret technology, #never leave office, #no drawer, #no desk, #use as tiny bed, #rest of days, #trade show binder
Transcript
Alice: "Asok, I designate you the keeper of the giant binder." "It contains our secret technology plans." "It can never leave this office." "It won't fit in any drawer." "And the 'clean desk policy' forbids me from leaving it on my desktop." "GAAA!! I can't take it home, and I can't leave it here!" "I must use it as a tiny bed and spend the rest of my days guarding it." Dilbert: "What did you do with the giant binder prop that you got at the trade show?"