Desperation Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

9 Results for Desperation

View 1 - 9 results for desperation comic strips. Discover the best "Desperation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cold desperation, #drab, #grimy habitat, #meaningless, #pile of money, #poor persons, #rich people, #roll in money, #underling

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Uh-oh. I'm lost and I've wandered into the grimy habitat of an underling. I feel the cold desperation of your drab and meaningless life. I need to roll in money to get the smell off me. Where's the nearest pile?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #sharing meeting, #project, #pathetic series, #poorly planned, #random acts, #emotional desparation, #things are fine, #need a hug

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #desparation, #fabric of spce, #fear, #helpless, #meeting forever, #time division, #marketing guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: what shall we tell the guy from marketing this time? Dilbert: hee hee Let's see if we can make him feel a sense of helpless desperation and fear. The time -division multiplexer opened a hole in the fabric of space. Wally: we're trapped in this meeting forever.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #go home early, #exempt employee, #unimportant document, #shuffle around, #quiet desparation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I finished all my work. Can I go home early?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss explains, "You're an 'exempt' employee. That means you're exempt from having a life." Asok says, "I guess I could clench an unimportant document and shuffle around in quiet desperation." The Boss says, "That's the spirit!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human reasources, #resume, #sense of desparation, #janitor, #clean toiltes, #bury janitor

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #interview, #sweat, #nervous, #rudeness

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Woman says, "I detect the flop sweat of desperation." Woman says, "I base my hiring decisions on who would make a good mate, and I would never want to give life to your sweaty baby." Woman says, "Do you see what I'm saying?" crumple Dilbert says, "Can I try again when I'm dehydrated?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #plastic, #using, #borrowing, #germaphobe, #stapler

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Please order a new stapler for me," Carol says, "Did your old one break?" Woman says, "Only in spirit." Woman says, "Every person who came into my cubivle picked it up and fiddled with it," Woman says, "At first I would wipe off the cooties and try to forget." Woman says, "In time my stapler became imbued with sorrow and desperation of every dead-ender that fondled it." Woman says, "I covered it with a plastic bowl and taped it to the desk so no fumes can escape." Wally says, "If you're wondering why your chair is warm, it's because I borrowed it for a meeting." Woman says, "What's the biggest bowl you can order?"

Asok Approves

Thank you for voting.
Asok Approves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #desperate, #desperation, #intern, #subordinate, #value, #importance

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I hear you need everyone's buy-in to proceed with your project. Dilbert: Everyone except you. No one cares what interns think. Asok: May I please approve it so I feel alive? Dilbert: Well... okay. But you owe me one.

Dating A Skeleton

Thank you for voting.
Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sex, #dating, #relationships, #questioning, #desperation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.