Detailed Recommendations Comic Strips
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31 Results for Detailed Recommendations
View 1 - 10 results for detailed recommendations comic strips. Discover the best "Detailed Recommendations" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 12,
2002
Tags #study culture, #in company, #detailed recommendations, #docile outcast, #drinks brown water, #staple tracking device
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."
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Monday April 04,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #brain overload, #detailed answer, #broken, #decison, #nodding, #sensing opportunity, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."
Tuesday March 16,
1993
Tags #the boss, #budget, #impact, #projects, #bullet, #points, #oxygen, #competition, #jello, #detailed, #senior, #executives
Transcript
A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I summarized the budget impacts on six hundred projects with those three bullet points." The Boss reads, "- Oxygen is good. - Competition is bad. - I like Jello." The woman asks, "Do you think it's too detailed for the senior executives?" The Boss replies, "Take out the 'competition' one."
Friday October 13,
1995
Tags #human resources, #developed policy, #employees who complain, #big hole, #trick whiners, #sand, #detailed explaination, #hole, #business
Transcript
Catbert and the Boss stand on either side of a hole in the floor. Catbert says, "As Director of Human Resources I have developed a policy for handling the employees who complain." Catbert continues, "It's a big hole. I'll trick the whiners into getting in it. And then I'll cover them with sand." The Boss says, "I don't see how this could possibly work." Catbert says, "There's a detailed explanation at the bottom of the hole."
Tuesday August 25,
1998
Tags #dogbert consults, #recommendations, #analyis, #us dollars, #elbonian currency, #eye crud
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert Consults Dogbert and the boss sit at a desk. Dogbert is in the boss' chair. Dogbert says, "My recommendations are based on an analysis of accountability." The boss says, "Ohh." Dogbert says, "As a consultant, I'm not accountable to your stockholders. So I can recommend anything that amuses me." Dogbert says, "I recommend that you convert all of your U.S. dollars to elbonian currency... whatever that is." The boss says, "The eyecrud."
Wednesday June 15,
2005
Tags #paying for consulting, #no recommendations, #feel secure, #shaping strategies, #hate you, #feel good
Transcript
"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."
Thursday August 09,
2012
Tags #work ethic, #potential customers, #regular vendor, #worked, #detailed quote
Transcript
Wally: I worked every night for a month to come up with a detailed quote for one of our potential customers. Then those weasels used our quote to get a better price from their regular vendor! Dilbert: Did you really do all of that work? Wally: No, but it nets out the same.
Sunday May 15,
2005
Tags #400 per hour, #expensive, #ball rolling, #process using, #recommendations
Transcript
The Boss: Mister Dogbert has agreed to consult for $400 per hour. "I know it's expensive but you get what you pay for." "Let's get the ball rolling." "My first question is: what process will you be using to arrive at your recommendations?" Dogbert: "a..." "very...slow one..."
Wednesday March 27,
2019
Detailed Explanation
Tags #business, #office, #office workers
Transcript
office worker: did my detailed explanation answer your question? wally: i started to lose consciousness about fifteen minutes into it, so I thought of other things while you talked, just to stay awake. office worker: i could start over. wally: go ahead. i'll be down the hall if you need me.
Tuesday May 25,
2021
Nominate A Coworker
Tags #business, #months, #recommendations, #co-workers, #office workers, #recognize, #superior, #work, #nominated, #honest, #idea, #coffee
Transcript
boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.