Developer Comic Strips
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Character
11 Results for Developer
View 1 - 10 results for developer comic strips. Discover the best "Developer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 01,
1994
Tags #saint dogbert, #technology, #demons, #stupidity, #make command, #easy to remeber, #software developer
Transcript
Saint Dogbert seeks out technology that has been possessed by the demons of stupidity. He Happens across a software developer. Man: I'll make the command easier to remember like CTRL- ALT-F4-DEL" and if they forget that they can just edit the source code in command. com perfect Dogbert: out! out!
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Friday October 21,
1994
Tags #3 hour meeting, #doesn't apply, #highly paid contractor, #oxygen to brains, #multimedia developer
Transcript
Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?
Sunday May 04,
2008
Tags #lead developer, #project, #setting up for failure, #gets cancelled, #motions, #hoping for cancellation
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to the be lead developer on this project." The Boss says, "Don't check the other developers' work because it will make them angry." Dilbert says, "That's okay, as long as they do good work." The Boss says, "Actually, they do bad work. Very, very bad work." Dilbert says, "You are setting me up for certain failure." The Boss says, "If work were easy, no one would pay you to do it." Dilbert says, "Okay. I'll go through the motions while hoping the project gets canceled for other reasons." Dilbert says, "Keep up the bad work, Carl." Carl says, "Who told you?"
Monday October 17,
2016
New Website Developer
Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.
Wednesday October 19,
2016
Estimating Finish Times
Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology
Transcript
Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.
Thursday April 18,
2019
Using Git
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #code, #developer
Transcript
the boss: i'm hearing that none of your code has been implemented. why are you so unproductive? dilbert: your new lead developer doesn't know how to use git and he keeps overwriting my patches. the boss: i don't know what any of that means. dilbert: well, thank you for stopping by.
Sunday March 15,
2020
Mandatory Blockchain Class
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call
Transcript
boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.
Tuesday October 18,
2016
Requesting The Slightest Change
Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.
Sunday November 13,
2016
Tags #app, #developer, #workload, #ideas, #obliviousness, #unrealistic, #goals
Transcript
Tina: I have a great idea for an app. And I choose you to be on my start-up team. I'll be the idea person and you do all of the technology. Dilbert: So... I would be doing 100 percent of the work? Tina: I already did the hard part of coming up with an idea. Your part is just typing. So stop complaining and type me an app. Dilbert: It isn't that easy. Tina: Can you recommend someone less lazy?
Monday January 02,
2017
Programming Environment
Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.