Did Well Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Did Well

View 1 - 10 results for did well comic strips. Discover the best "Did Well" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, did well, hiring freeze, shrink empire, hand shaking situation, hand, questioning clean

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sitting at his desk. The Boss approaches from behind with a check in hand. He says, "The company did well so you get a bonus despite the fact you did no work all year." After handing Wally the check, The Boss continues, "I'd fire you but I can't replace you because there's a hiring freeze and I don't want to shrink my empire." The Boss fidgets nervously and says, "This might be a hand-shaking situation but I don't know where your hand has been." Wally continues to stare at his check and brushes The Boss with, "Off you go."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, dark matter, universe, new excuse, a-b test, hidden dimensions

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The universe is full of dark matter, quantum strangeness, and hidden dimensions. In such a universe, can we really know whether or not I did my assignment? Dilbert: How'd the new excuse work out? Wally: It did well in the A-B test against "You never told me to do that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance review, two jobs, well, attaboy, no budget for raise, cheapen

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Performance Review. The Boss says to Dilbert, "You did two jobs for a year and you did them well." The Boss continues, "I have no budget for raises, so all I can offer is an attaboy." The Boss continues, "The problem is: I don't want to cheapen the whole attaboy system."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadly product, sued, did nothing, public realtions, goal, jury pool, victims deserved it, moral implications, strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dieting & weight control, interviews, tattoos & body marking, job interview, face tattoo, overeating, bad idea, people can see, dont interview well

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, Opinion, influence recommendation, well informed, easily informed, charismatic ignorance, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I won't give my opinion because I don't want to influence your recommendation. Dilbert: Good idea. My well-informed mind is so easily swayed by your charismatic ignorance. Boss: That's not what I'm saying. Dilbert: Then who did I hear?

Slide Deck Too Well Designed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Slide Deck Too Well Designed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, tasks, well-designed

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, machinery, office equipment, prototype, traffic, traffic load test, ask lab, didn't ask lab

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags commerce, fraternization, creepy new vendor, did laundry, creepy, made sandwhiches

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new vendor is creepy. He's trying to form a relationship with me. Man: I went to your house and did your laundry. You're welcome. Wally: How creepy could it be? Man: I made us sandwiches. You're out of mayo.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparing a task, criticism, employees, executives, quality is bad, your imagination, time, quality, boss, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?