Dilbert Makes Bet Comic Strips
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Dilbert and Ted stand behind Ann. Dilbert holds out a match. Dilbert says, "Ann, I made a bet with Ted that you could ignite this match by swearing at it." Ann screams at Ted, "How dare you bet against me, Ted, you #%!!*!" Ted's hair light on fire. Dilbert looks at the match. Dilbert says, "Dang! How about double or nothing!" Ted is now a smoking skull. Ted says, "I want my dollar."
Dilbert makes some adjustments to a vehicle that looks like a flying saucer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My hover-saucer invention is complete!" Dilbert continues, "It has enough advanced weaponry to destroy a small country." Dilbert says, "I hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands." Dogbert thinks, "Paws."
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three other people. A man says, "Maybe Dilbert can tell us if our plan is technically feasible." Dilbert thinks, "For dramatic effect I'll scoff loudly." Dilbert thinks, "I'll just sort of laugh and snort and take a breath at the same time." Dilbert makes a strange noise. Dilbert thinks, "Oh no! Some spittle went down my air pipe . . . I'm choking." Dilbert falls over in his chair and makes choking noises. A woman asks, "Should we do something?" A man replies, "We're over our headcount, you know." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And so I survived, but my professional credibility took a hit." Dogbert replies, "You knew the risks when you became an engineer."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I want everyone to prepare a presentation for the executive review board. Urgent." Dilbert makes sniffing noises and says, "What's that smell? Yes!!! . . . It's the scent of unnecessary work for a meeting that will be canceled." Wally peers over the cubicle wall and says to Dilbert, "Did you smell the unnecessary work? We can ignore it!" Dilbert replies, "It's like popcorn for the soul." Alice sits in her cubicle thinking, "Urgent."
Wally: Our competitors have technology for reading brain waves at a distance. This shielded helmet will prevent them from reading the company secrets in your mind. You owe me $20. Dilbert: The bet was that he has to wear the trash can for a week.
Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.
dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.
Kenny and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a customer. Kenny tells the man, "I brought Dilbert to explain what makes our product special." Dilbert says, "It's exactly like our competitor's product except we charge more to cover the cost of our deceptive advertising." The man gets up and leaves the room. Dilbert says, "While you're up, could you get me a cup of coffee?" Kenny looks angry.
Alice: What's up with the ugly sweater? Did you lose a bet? Dilbert: This? Oh, right. It was a gift from my mom. I'm wearing it once in case she asks me later. Alice: Did you know it was hideous before I told you? Dilbert: Maybe.
Dilbert says to Bob the Dinosaur and Dawn the Dinosaur, ". . . So Dawn here is a Nobodysaurus, and Bob, you say you're a Thesaurus?" Bob replies, "Ha ha! No, the 'Thesaurus' line is just an old dinosaur joke." Dawn covers her eyes and giggles. Dilbert says, "I'll bet you were a riot in the Mesozoic era." Dawn says, "Eat him, Bob."