Dilbert Reconciling Work Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dilbert Reconciling Work

View 1 - 10 results for dilbert reconciling work comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert Reconciling Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1994's comic on:

Tags #existential problem, #dilbert reconciling work, #paid, #salary, #what do for money, #flick fingers, #get paid, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"

Carol Can't Get The Printer To Work

Thank you for voting.
Carol Can't Get The Printer To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2018's comic on:

Tags #carol, #Dilbert, #printer, #work, #priorities, #yammering

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I can't get the printer to work can you help? Dilbert: Sure, I'll be there as soon as I finish my twenty-seven tasks that are all higher priorities. Carol: How long will that take? Dilbert: I got three new tasks while you were here yammering.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #vigilante, #work, #robbbed, #house, #job, #imposter, #boss, #sassoon, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert the Vigilante." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "When I get home from work, we'll track down the man who robbed our house and make him pay!!" At work, a man with a mohawk haircut, an eyepatch and clothes like Dilbert's sits at Dilbert's desk. Dilbert thinks, "No! It's the robber at my desk. He's stealing my job too!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "He's an impostor. Look at his hair!" The Boss replies, "We thought you'd been in a street fight with Vidal Sassoon."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #report, #work, #porto-shredder, #necktie, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Here's my report. It's some of my best work." The Boss puts the report through a portable shredder that is hanging around his neck. Dilbert says, "I hate that porto-shredder." The Boss asks, "Say, is that a silk necktie?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #budget, #work, #exciting, #numbers, #real, #job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. A man says, "Hey, 'Dil-Butt,' I hear they got you doing budget work now." The man says, "Ha ha! It must be really exciting work. I mean, gosh, making all those numbers add up." The man walks away saying, "Ha ha! I'm glad I have a REAL job!" Dilbert clicks the mouse and thinks, "Not anymore."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1995's comic on:

Tags #start documenting, #market requirements, #design skills, #rewarding, #work, #doo hickey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Stan from marketing sit at a conference table. As he types on a laptop, Dilbert tells Stan, "Okay, let's start by documenting your market requirements." Stan responds, "No, let's start by you telling me all the things you can design. Then I'll tell you which one I like." Dilbert says, "Work can be very rewarding. You should try it." Stan points to Dilbert's portable PC and asks, "What's that doohickey you have there?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1997's comic on:

Tags #urgent, #doing work, #more urgent

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper. The Boss says, "This is urgent. Stop what you're doing and work on it right now." Dilbert looks at the report. Dilbert says, "Is it more urgent than what I was doing?" The Boss says, "I don't know what you were doing." Dilbert says, "Exactly. So how could you know if this is more urgent?" The Boss says, "Tou could work late and do both." Dilbert says, "Work late? Is this more important than my health?" The Boss grabs the piece of paper. The Boss says, "Forget it! I'll have Alice do it." Wally looks over the cubicle wall. Wally asks,"Just out of curiosity what ARE you doing?" Dilbert says. "Playing "Quake"."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2013's comic on:

Tags #deception, #work ethic, #defraying disk drive, #compiling code

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm in the middle of defragging my disk drive. When that's done, my computer will be compiling code for a few hours. Dilbert: How's work? Wally: I hear bad things about it.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2013's comic on:

Tags #allegiance, #work has no meaning, #sound disloyal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My work has no meaning. I understand it's your job to fix that situation before I become disloyal. Boss: I think it's too late. You already sound disloyal. Dilbert: Really? That opens a lot of options. Boss: Let me know if there's anything else I can do.

Wally Has An Idea

Thank you for voting.
Wally Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #work, #criteria, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have an idea on how to fix our process. Alice: I've noticed that all of your ideas make everyone but you work harder. Wally: Apparently, we have different criteria for what makes an idea great.