The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad.
Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them?
The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.
Dogbert stands outside the post office truck yard holding the Sonic Obliterator. Dogbert says, "On one hand, I know it's wrong to use Dilbert's invention to blow up these empty mail trucks." Dogbert says, "On the other paw, this is gonna be more fun than sneezing on strangers." Dogbert continues, "It's a moral dilemma . . . But I like to think that difficult choices like this build character." Dogbert presses the trigger.
Dogbert: I know you; you're filbert's ego.
Dilbert's Ego: Correct. I disowned him. Me just wasn't feeding me enough.
Dogbert: What can a little ego do to feed itself.
Dilbert: Which way to the toupee store.
The caption says, "Dogbert meets Dilbert's ego." Dogbert asks, "You want a toupee?" Dilbert's ego replies, "I feel okay about myself except for being bald." Dogbert says, "I hate to tell you, but with or without hair you still look like broccoli." The ego replies, "At least I won't be bald broccoli."
Dilbert's Ego: I'm Dilbert's ego. I'd like to update image with a toupee.
Male Employee: I recommend the, "Roy Orbison," Model. It comes with sunglasses.
Dilbert's Ego: Now I won't have to rely so heavily on my personality,
Dogbert: Nice toupee.
Dilbert's Ego: Thanks. It's the, "Roy Orbison," model. I am now ready to hit the dating scene.
Woman at Bar: Really? You drive a porsche?
Dilbert's Ego: It's red... But enough about me.
Dogbert: Uh-oh! Dilbert's escaped ego has grown since getting that toupee.
Dilbert's Ego: Ho-ho, what a night! I crashed a party for female police officers! I got phone numbers from twelve women!
Dogbert: 9-1-1?
Dilbert's Ego: They must be roommates.
Dilbert's Ego vs. His Insecurities
Dilbert's Ego: C'mon, you coward. You may be big, but I'm going to pound you into pudding!!
Dilbert's Insecurities: I'm going to faint.
Dogbert: I don't think this will be a children's fable anytime soon.
Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and humming. Dilbert walks away thinking, "What's wrong with this necktie?" The tie lies flat on his shirt. The caption says, "Coming: the shocking truth about Dilbert's tie." Dilbert's tie curls up into its usual position and he thinks, "That's better."
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I need your help to solve the mystery of Dilbert's necktie." Ratbert says, "Gosh, Dogbert, most of my work at the lab is the non-analytical type. Sure, I've eaten a few hundred ties, but who hasn't?" Dogbert says, "It's not your brain power that I need." Ratbert asks, "Can we solve this with my good looks alone?"
