Directions Comic Strips
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15 Results for Directions
View 1 - 10 results for directions comic strips. Discover the best "Directions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 20,
2004
Tags #stupidity, #at eork, #anti stupid gun, #annihilates stupid part, #rest intect, #read directions
Transcript
Dilbert: There seems to be more stupidity than usual at work. Garbageman: Borrow my antisyupidius gun. It annihilates the stupid part of a person and leaves the rest intact. Dilbert: Cool Dilbert: I should have read the directions more carefully,
Friday November 19,
2004
Tags #managing vague directions, #punishing people, #genius
Transcript
The Boss: There must be more to managing than giving vague directions and punishing people for not reading my mind. But I like to play within my game. Its a form of genius. Catbert: wake me up when some of this is about me.
Thursday June 14,
2012
Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas, #business
Transcript
Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.
Saturday April 28,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #uncle, #tim, #lost, #froze, #death, #camping, #compass, #jammed, #north, #south, #directions
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk looking at family photographs. Dilbert says, "Here's a picture of Uncle Tim before he got lost and froze to death camping." Dogbert asks, "Didn't he have a compass?" Dilbert replies, "His diary said it got jammed." Uncle Tim walks through a blizzard. Tim looks at his compass and thinks, "Just great . . . I need south and all I get is north, north, north."
Thursday June 25,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #water, #boot, #heel, #betty, #liquid, #hair, #partial, #credit
Transcript
Dogbert asks, "Who can show me how to get the water out of this boot?" Dogbert hands the boot to a woman and says, "If you have trouble, the directions are written on the heel." As the woman puts her head into the boot, Dogbert says, "I'm sorry, Betty. I can only give you partial credit for trying to absorb the liquid with your hair."
Friday April 07,
1995
Tags #improve career, #ceo, #refer first name, #recent meeting, #rule, #iron fist, #funny dog
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "Try this little trick to improve your career . . ." Dogbert continues, "Anytime you want something your way, simply refer to your CEO by his first name and say he gave you directions during your very recent meeting." Dogbert continues, "It's totally unverifiable. People will fear you and do as you say. You'll rule with an iron fist!" Dilbert responds, "You're a funny little dog."
Sunday May 06,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #hospital, #directions, #drive, #driving, #car, #automobile, #lying, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."
Monday September 20,
2004
Tags #ethics question, #okay to retype, #medication
Transcript
Carol: I have a question for the ethics hotline. Is it okay to retype the directions on my boss's prescription medication. The boss: I know I can't do this next thing because I've tried.
Monday January 03,
2005
Tags #new director, #first impressions, #office in lobby, #nearest growler, #directions, #information booth, #directs
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, I'm making you our new director of first impressions pro team! Carol: My years of hard work have finally paid off! Im a dierctor! Carol: Why is my office in the lobby? Can you direct me ti the nearest growler?