Discover Religion Comic Strips
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30 Results for Discover Religion
View 1 - 10 results for discover religion comic strips. Discover the best "Discover Religion" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 09,
1994
Tags #cranky, #discover religion, #physical until marriage, #unitarian, #liz, #dilbert serene, #dogbert talks liz
Transcript
"I don't understand something, Liz. You told Dilbert you don't want to be physical until after marriage..." "I would expect him to be cranky around the house, yet he's quite relaxed...serene. I don't see how...unless..." "Did you discover religion?" "I think I'm Unitarian."
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Tuesday March 22,
2016
The Elbonian Religion
Tags #culture, #customs, #killing, #law, #offense, #Religion, #guest artist, #joel friday
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you Elbonians have a religion? Elbonian: Of course we do! We're not savages! We believe in killing anyone who offends us three times in a row. Dilbert: Harsh. Elbonian: That's two.
Wednesday April 18,
2012
Tags #editors, #document, #bad edits, #wrong religion, #fool
Transcript
Coworker: I made some edits to your document. Dilbert: These edits are so bad that my only choices are to send it out and make a fool of myself or insult your alleged intelligence. Coworker: Please let it be the first choice. Dilbert: I hope you didn't pick the wrong religion too.
Saturday April 22,
1989
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert says, "I don't quite understand what scientific principle you intend to discover with a bowl of soup and a necktie." Dilbert waves his tie back and forth as he explains, "I'm testing the strange attraction between staining liquids and new ties." The bowl of soup flies across the table and spills on Dilbert's tie. Dogbert says, "I wonder how Newton missed this little gravitational oddity." Dilbert replies, "He didn't wear a necktie."
Saturday August 11,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #surgery, #discover, #convict, #Dogbert, #medical, #story, #arm chair, #escaped, #torso
Transcript
Dilbert yells, "Dogbert! I'm home after my second major surgery in two weeks!" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, ". . . So after the first operation they discover that a tiny convict and a nurse had hidden inside my torso to escape . . ." Dogbert falls asleep. Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "Boy . . . It sure is hard to keep a medical story interesting."
Friday April 05,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #practiced, #Religion, #attained, #fulfillment, #soul, #creature, #andy the android
Transcript
Andy says to Dogbert, "I have practiced religion for one day and not attained fulfillment." Dogbert responds, "That's because you're an android. You have no soul." Andy asks, "No soul?" Andy asks, "What is a little creature with no soul supposed to do?" Dilbert responds, "Well, Sonny Bono married Cher . . ."
Thursday December 30,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #conquer, #building, #Religion, #life, #calculate, #spreadsheet, #law, #students, #zero, #bar
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "I can't decide if it would be better to conquer the world by building an army or starting a religion." Dilbert asks, "Which one would have the least loss of life?" Dogbert replies, "That's what I'm trying to calculate on this spreadsheet." Dilbert asks, "Why are you counting law students as two-tenths of a person?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't drop to zero until they pass the bar."
Thursday December 12,
1996
Tags #different religions, #flexible, #change relgion, #whole religion, #based on not dating, #Sunday, #Dogbert
Transcript
A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "I'm flattered. But I can't date you because we're different religions." Dilbert says, "I'm flexible. I'd change my religion to get a date." The woman replies, "It wouldn't work in this case." Dilbert sits on the couch and asks Dogbert, "Did you know there's a whole religion based on not dating me?" Dogbert asks, "Where do you think I go every Sunday?"
Saturday March 06,
1999
Tags #god hates pople, #coffee tastes better, #stir with finger, #lonely religion
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert are in the office kitchen getting coffee. Wally says, "I believe God created the earth because he hates people." Wally says, "And I believe coffee tastes better if you stir it with your finger." Dilbert says, "It sound like a lonely religion." Wally says, "They all start that way."
Wednesday December 15,
1999
Tags #project, #cancelled, #never love agian, #remounce religion
Transcript
Dilbert is holding a mug and walking behind Asok. Dilbert says to Asok: "I heard your project got cancelled." Asok stops and says: "What?" Asok screams and shakes his hands in the air in front of Dilbert: "No! No! Why me? I'll never love again!!" Asok's hair is standing up and he is grabbing his tie with wild eyes. Asok says to Dilbert: "I renounce my religion." Dilbert says: "Ouch."