Search Results for "diseases"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 7 of 7

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2010's comic on:

Tags #film, #hate, #superheros, #geeks, #robots, #diseases, #weddings, #tears, #mammals, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Amber, would you like to see a movie that one of us will undoubtedly hate?" Dilbert says, "I only like movies with superheroes, geeks or robots. You probably only like movies with tears, diseases and weddings." Dilbert says, "Does my honesty turn you on?" Amber says, "I just stopped liking mammals."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2008's comic on:

Tags #doctors office, #doctors note, #sick, #doesn't believe, #waiting room, #ethical, #believe, #lie, #nine diseases, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need a doctor's note for the two days of work I missed." Doctor: You look healthy to me. Dilbert: I got better. Doctor: how do I know you were sick? Dilbert: The note just needs to say I was sick. Doctor: so you want me to lie?" It's not a lie. I really was sick. Medical Doctor: If your company doesn't trust you, why should I?" Dilbert: Good point. What if I let the people in your waiting room cough on me? Then you can write a note saying I have what they have. Doctor: As long as I didn't recommend it. I think that passes ethical muster." The Boss: You have nine diseases?" Dilbert: That have names.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1994's comic on:

Tags #crash test dummies, #dilbert gets political, #dinner party, #gourmet cooking

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert gets political Dilbert: Id love to have you and whats her face come to my little dinner party. Dilbert: I like to do a little gourmet cooking...when I'm not raising money to battle unpopular diseases. Carol: Is it just me or are the other guest crash dummies? Dilbert: Its just you.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1994's comic on:

Tags #45 inch screen, #communications staellite, #cure disease, #fish appear on screen, #great products, #marketing, #new product, #room freshener, #telepathic user, #whiten teeth, #time travel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2012's comic on:

Tags #diseases, #employees, #frustration, #new bad apple, #joining project, #full disclosure, #totally contagious, #immune, #worms, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I'm the new bad apple. I'll be joining your project. In the interest of full disclosure, this is totally contagious. Wally: I'm immune, but not for reasons I'm proud of. Coworker: You must be Wally.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2009's comic on:

Tags #future, #prediction, #bleak, #scary

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Economist Man says, "In 2010 the economy will collapse and the world will plunge into darkness." Man says, "You will all be eaten by cannibals who will, in turn, die from the diseases that riddle your bodies." The boss says, "Please never talk again." Man says, "I get that a lot lately."

Ted Might Drop Dead

Thank you for voting.
Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.