Dish Comic Strips
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14 Results for Dish
View 1 - 10 results for dish comic strips. Discover the best "Dish" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 27,
2012
Tags #benefits of personhood, #chemical nutrients, #death & dying, #inventions, #petri dish, #robot, #scientific equipment, #skin cells, #sneezes, #science
Transcript
Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.
Sunday March 04,
1990
Tags #dress, #flattery, #Dilbert, #dish, #cloth, #ordinary, #fashionable, #dropped, #jello, #shoes, #wipe, #up, #compliment, #gracefully
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the woman, "I like your dress." He thinks, "Women love flattery." Dilbert says, "It reminds me of my favorite dish cloth." He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Wrong thing to say." Dilbert says, "Of course, I'm not talking about an ORDINARY dish cloth." Dilbert thinks, "Dig, dig . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'm talking about a truly fashionable dish cloth here . . . In fact, if I dropped Jello on my shoes I'd leave it there all day rather than use your dress to wipe it up." The woman overturns the table, wraps the tablecloth around Dilbert's head and leaves. Dilbert lies on the floor and says, "Some women just don't know how to accept a compliment gracefully."
Friday March 10,
2000
Tags #pot luck, #drop dish, #groceries, #employee appreciation luncheon
Transcript
The boss writes an e-mail to Dilbert: "The Employee Appreciation Luncheon will be potluck." Dilbert reads the rest of the e-mail: "Drop off your dish at my house on your way to work." The Boss thinks: "If this works, I'll never need to buy groceries again."
Wednesday February 18,
2004
Tags #home theater, #dvd, #hd, #dvr, #satellite dish, #mp3, #widescreen, #universal remote, #people over, #turn on
Transcript
The Boss: "My new home theater is amazing." "It's got a dvd, hd, dvr, fm, satellite dish, mp3, widescreen tv, seven speakers and a universal remote." "It's fun to invite people over so they can show me how to turn it on."
Wednesday May 21,
2008
Tags #tool belt, #wear, #date, #squirrel satellite dish, #user
Transcript
woman: "Dilbert, when you come over tonight, wear your toolbelt." Dilbert says, "Because it's sexy?" woman: "That would be between you and the squirrel that keeps chewing the cable from my satellite dish."
Thursday March 25,
2021
Yay, A Package
Tags #package, #arrived, #consumer, #amazon, #purchase, #birthday, #feel, #forgetfulness, #dish soap
Transcript
Dilbert opening front door at home: yay! my package arrived! i buy one thing per day from amazon and then forget what i ordered, so it feels like my birthday every day. dogbert with hands over eyes: i can't watch this. yes! dish soap! how did i know i wanted that?
Sunday February 19,
2012
Tags #charge customers, #free features, #customers, #abusive realtionship, #move in direction, #put up with
Transcript
Boss: We've decided to charge customers for features they currently get for free. Dilbert: Um... Have you considered how our customers might react? Boss: Obviously. Wally: I'd like to hear how that reasoning process went. Boss: Fine. Customers love us and they will put up with anything we dish out. Wally: So... It's sort of an abusive relationship? Boss: Not yet, but we're trying to move in that direction.
Wednesday March 31,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #hypnotic, #powers, #supreme, #earth, #computer, #satellite
Transcript
Dogbert stands on the desk chair and says into a camera, "This is Dogbert . . . You are all under my hypnotic powers . . ." A satellite dish sits on the desk. Dogbert transmits to a satellite orbiting earth, "I am the supreme ruler of earth. You must all carry Dogbert posters and chant 'Dogbert is my king.'" Dogbert concludes, "That is all for now. If I think of anything else important I'll let you know." Ratbert enters holding a sign with Dogbert's picture on it and chanting, ". . . Is my king."
Saturday April 03,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #master, #earth, #message, #creature, #king, #retiring, #soft, #pillow
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and says into a video camera, "This is Dogbert, Master of Earth, with a message to all creatures . . ." There is a satellite dish on the desk. A man and woman sit on their couch holding Dogbert signs and watching television. Dogbert says on tv, "I realized that you are all unworthy of having me as your king. I am retiring to go sit on a soft pillow." Dogbert lies on his pillow listening to the radio. Dogbert thinks, "No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it."
Wednesday September 17,
1997
Tags #reverse psychology, #goal, #opposite of wants, #space shuttle launch, #alice desk
Transcript
Alice is angry and walks away from Mordac. She says, "I'm not using reverse psychology! I really don't need anything from the information technology department." Mordac follows. Mordac shakes his fist and says, "Curse you! You know our goal is to give you the opposite of what you want. If you want nothing, we must give you everything!" Dilbert stands behind Alice at her computer. He clasps his hands together and begs, "Please tell me how you got them to do this." Alice's computer is heaped with gadgets: satelitte dish, hard drives, video cameroas, modems, etc. Alice says, 'Watch me launch the space shuttle!"