Disorder Comic Strips
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10 Results for Disorder
View 1 - 10 results for disorder comic strips. Discover the best "Disorder" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 11,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #ginger, #date, #puppetitis, #rare, #disorder, #puppet, #weird
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I haven't dated much since I came down with puppetitis." The woman continues, "It's a rare disorder that makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert replies, "That's weird." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "He hates us! We must kill him!" The woman says to her hand, "Not yet, Ginger!"
Tuesday March 23,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chance, #promoted, #technology, #prima donna, #personality, #disorder, #person, #learn, #dustin, #hoffman, #sean penn, #paparazzi
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "
Thursday January 04,
2007
Tags #diet, #eating disorder, #first 20 pounds, #diet with buddy, #lose weight, #weight issues, #health
Transcript
The Boss: My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? Tina: Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder! The Boss: They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest. Tina: NOT HELPING!"
Thursday February 07,
2013
Tags #work ethic, #10 thousand hours, #practice, #willingness, #mental disorder, #mediocrity
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show it takes ten thousand hours of practice to be great at anything. Dogbert: I would think a willingness to practice the same thing for ten thousand hours is a mental disorder. Dilbert: That makes me feel better about my mediocrity. Dogbert: You're welcome.
Friday September 20,
2002
Tags #woman, #peeved questions, #hostile, #personality disorder, #critical, #mean, #nasty
Transcript
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet a woman who acts peeved at any sort of question." Dilbert extends his hand and asks, "How are you?" The woman opens one eye very widely, "Poink." The woman exclaims, with one eye wide open and the other closed, "How am I???" Dilbert responds, "Wow. I gotta show this to Wally."
Tuesday June 20,
2006
Sunday November 08,
2009
Tags #talking, #telling, #story, #interrupted, #annoyed, #berating, #angry, #hijacked, #criticism, #ridicule, #ignoring
Transcript
Dilbert says, "And then Ted said he'd?" Man says, "Ho ho! I've seen that a million times!" Man says, "At my old job we used to make cricket noises whenever our manager was approaching." Man says, "But that doesn't mean you should cut corners when it comes to quality." Dilbert says, "You're hijacking our conversation!" Man says, "I'm adding value." Dilbert says, "You don't even know what we were talking about." Wally says, "Apparently you have a social disorder that compes you to insert irrelevant stories and trite observations into other people's conversations." Wally says, "I assume part of the disorder involves not being able to recognize it in yourself." Dilbert says, "I wonder if he can hear us." Man says, "Did I tell you about my camping trip?"
Sunday December 21,
2014
Tags #anger, #criticism, #perfection, #psychological disorder, #psychological evaluation, #perfectionist, #warning, #not a problem, #cognitive dissonance, #unrealistic optimism, #projection bias, #jerk, #anger issues
Transcript
Coworker: I should warn you that I'm a perfectionist. Dilbert: I appreciate the warning. Do you have any other psychological problems or just the one? Coworker: I don't think of it as a "problem." Dilbert: I guess that's what makes it so bad. I see a lot of other psychological problems in your writing. Cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, and some projection bias. But I can see why you think your perfectionism is the worst part. Coworker: You're a jerk. Dilbert: ...and here come the anger issues.
Saturday October 17,
2015
Selfish Team Player
Tags #hypocrisy, #team, #semantics, #flaw, #personality disorder, #success, #selfish, #business
Transcript
Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.
Wednesday March 02,
2016
False Sense Of Urgency
Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn
Transcript
Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.