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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #urgent message, #disregard, #healthy compnay, #herd stampedes, #resume, #voicemail

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle holding the phone. The voice on the phone says, "To hear your urgent voice mail message press one . . . " A voice on the phone says, "This urgent message is to all employees. Please disregard the rumors of a merger with a healthy company." Dilbert looks out of his cubicle and sees co-workers running in every direction. One man yells, "Resume!" Another cries, "Where's my interview suit??!!" Dilbert thinks, "Now spooked, the herd stampedes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #late, #date, #ellen, #shampoo, #carpets, #Crossword, #puzzle, #attractive, #superiority, #complete, #disregard, #ugly, #adorable, #face, #stunned, #stupor, #flowers

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Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant by himself. He looks at his watch and says, "She's an hour late." A woman approaches the table. Dilbert says, "Hi, Ellen. Didn't we agree on seven?" Ellen replies, "Hi, Dilbert." Ellen says, "I was ready on time but I decided to shampoo my carpets." Ellen continues, "Then I got involved in a crossword puzzle." Ellen explains, "This is how attractive people assert their superiority over the rest of you." Ellen continues, "Don't take it personally. I have a complete disregard for the feelings of all ugly people." Ellen continues, "I'll make this adorable face and you'll go into a stunned-ugly-guy stupor and forget the whole thing." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . What were we talking about?" Ellen says, "You were explaining why you didn't bring me any flowers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #hands to boss, #insensitive, #plop, #toss, #worked all night, #disregard, #overlooked

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Dilbert: I worked all night to finish the assignments on time. The Boss: Toss it on the pile. Dilbert: I'd feel better if you used a different choice of words." The Boss: Plop it on the top.

More Than Garfield

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More Than Garfield - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mondays, #Garfield, #sarcasm, #teasing, #conversation, #antisocial, #alienation

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Alice: I hate Mondays more than Garfield. Wally: Why do you hate Garfield at all? Is it his total disregard for lasagna ownership? Alice: Don't speak to me again until Tuesday. Wally: One day down, four to go.

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

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Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #board, #board member, #power, #bragging, #focus, #attention

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CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone

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Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #annoying, #foibles, #pet peeve, #habit, #office, #cubicle

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Phil, The Prince Of Insufficient Light. Phil: I have a report that you use your speakerphone in a cubicle environment. Alice: In my defense, I only do it because of my total disregard for others. Phil: Sounds fair. That's why I do it too. Alice: Take your spoon and leave.