Disturbed Loner Comic Strips
6 Results for Disturbed Loner
View 1 - 6 results for disturbed loner comic strips. Discover the best "Disturbed Loner" comics from Dilbert.com.
Headline: Handwriting Analysis. Dogbert is sitting across from a male employee. Dogbert reports, "Your handwriting proves that you're a disturbed loner who steals." The employee, looking confused, asks, "What?'' Dogbert stands and exclaims, "Take this thief away!" Two police officers accost the employee from behind. The employee is tied in ropes to a wood pole. The Boss asks Dogbert, "Is this part absolutely necessary?" Dogbert thinks to himself, "Liberal."
Wally: Do you feel any need to make conversation? Dilbert: Nope. But I don't mind standing in your general vicinity to counter the common perception of you as a sociopathic loner. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: That's what acquaintances are for.
Dogbert stands on a table rubbing a lamp. Dilbert asks, "Why are you rubbing that lamp?" Dogbert replies, "It's a routine check for magic genies." Dilbert says, "Carry on." A genie pops out of the lamp and says, "You have released me." Dogbert shouts, "Yes!!! Ha, ha!! Now you must grant me three wishes!" The genie replies, "Get real, four-eyes. We don't have a binding contract here." The genie says, "I LIKE living in a lamp. You disturbed me. I'm going to turn you into a wiener and go home." The genie turns Dogbert into a hot dog. He thinks, "At least it's an experience I can relish."
The Boss: We'll be using the Dogbert personality predictor index to judge your career potential. Then we'll leave you in the dead end job that most closely matches your lack of potential. Here's a sample question... How would other people describe you? A)Angry loner B) embezzler C) lazy Dilbert: That's not enough choices! Dogbert: Says the angry loner. The Boss: You have thirty minutes to give yourself a label that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Wally: Would you say I'm more of an unidentified hominid or an inappropriate toucher?"
Dilbert sits at his desk in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "My laptop PC keeps freezing up. Come take a look at it." Dilbert replies, "I'm telecommuting, Dogbert. I can't be distracted by home projects." Dilbert says, "Don't come another step closer. This is my virtual cubicle, within which I can not be disturbed." Dilbert spreads his arms and continues, "These invisible walls form a cone of productivity around me." Dilbert continues, "Within this zone I am a dedicated employee, totally focused on the corporate vision." Dilbert continues, "Nothing can distract me from my firm commitment to the work-at-home principle." Dogbert says, "Fine. I think I'll set the couch on fire." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table working on a laptop. Dogbert says, "Another victory for the distractor!" Dilbert says, "I swear, someday principle will win!"