Doesn't Attach Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

462 Results for Doesn't Attach

View 1 - 10 results for doesn't attach comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Attach" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cable, #doesn't attach, #create demand, #young people dancing, #budget cuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Our new product is a cable that doesn't attach to anything. "We hope to create demand via a series of commercials showing young people dancing." "And then we'll all go straight to hell." "He didn't take the last round of budget cuts well."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consensus, #lost and confused, #lateness, #doesn't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #penny, #doesn't, #dog, #car, #side of road

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to the ground and says to Dogbert, "Look, a lucky penny in the street . . ." As Dilbert picks up the penny a car drives through the puddle in front of Dilbert and splashes him. Dogbert says, "A penny doesn't go as far as it used to." Dilbert is soaked.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #world, #news, #country, #doug, #tiny, #monarchy, #king, #descendant, #deity, #head, #doesn't

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3 hour meeting, #doesn't apply, #highly paid contractor, #oxygen to brains, #multimedia developer

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #password, #not working, #help request line, #password doesn't work, #email message, #stinking network, #worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert peers into a co-worker's cubicle and says, "My password for the network isn't working." The man says, "Fill out a help request online." Dilbert says, "I can't get online because my password doesn't work . . ." The man says, "Send me an e-mail message about it." Dilbert shouts angrily, "I can't send e-mail because I can't get on the stinkin' network!!!" The man says, "Geez, you're worthless . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #doesn't know, #being insulted, #with all due respect, #intangible benefits, #insulting, #monkey face

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sex symbol, #wats inside, #doesn't count, #philosopher, #point

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds an issue of Playgirl featuring Dogbert on the cover. Dogbert wears black dress socks and nothing else, except his silly putty beauty tumor. Dilbert says, "How does it feel to be a sex symbol?" Dogbert says, "Good." Dogbert sits on the arm of the couch wagging his tail and says, "I realized that what's inside a person doesn't count because no one can see it." Dilbert says, "I didn't realize you were such a philosopher." Dogbert says, "That's my point!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #theory testing, #Dogbert, #people told what to do, #quit job, #build pyramid, #dolt, #honesty doesn't mix

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sitting on couch while holding "TECH" magazine. Dogbert stands on arm of couch and thinks, "I will now test my theory that people like to be told what to do." Dogbert yells, "QUIT YOUR JOB AND BUILD ME A PYRAMID, YOU HOMELY DOLT!!!" Dilbert responds, "I liked it until the dolt part." Dogbert says, "I've noticed that honesty doesn't mix well with anything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #almost back, #date, #attach tracking device, #run down alley, #leaves, #different opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."