Dogbert Gets Loan Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert Gets Loan

View 1 - 10 results for dogbert gets loan comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert Gets Loan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all the copies, #bestseller, #house as colleral, #dump, #pay back, #dogbert gets loan

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert gets a loan" Dogbert sits across the desk from a bank executive. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "I plan to buy all the copies of hte book I authored, thus making it a bestseller." Dogbert says, "And I'd like to use your house as collateral. Unless it's a dump." The banker says, "How are you planning to pay us back?" dogbert says, "Do you take books?"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Loan Shark - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #juggling, #Dilbert, #game, #play, #winning

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock. He hears, "Boink-ouch! Boink-ouch! Boink-ouch!" Dogbert gets off the hassock and walks toward the noise. Dilbert lies face-down on the floor with juggling pins around him. Dogbert says, "Maybe juggling isn't your sport." Dilbert says, "It's not winning that counts; it's how you play the game."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plundered, #downsized, #equity, #massive stock options, #victory seems hollow, #meaningful contribition, #book deal, #trophy wife

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks by empty cubicles. He thinks, "I've downsized this company and plundered its equity by excercising my massive stock options." A chauffer holds the door as Dogbert gets into his limosine and thinks, "Yet my victory seems hollow. Something is missing." Dogbert sits on the couch with Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Maybe you're missing a sense of meaningful contribution to society." Dogbert relies, "Maybe... but I'm thinking book deal and trophy wife."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ear related cuteness, #get away with crimes, #pulled over, #driving, #cop, #verbal warning, #driving violations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks up to a car. Dogbert has his ears up. Dogbert thinks, "I wonder if my ear-related cuteness will let me get away with crimes." Dogbert gets pulled over by a cop. Dogbert hands over a license. The cop says, "You passed an ambulance... on the right." The cop looks at a small square of cardboard. The cop says, "And your license is a blank piece of cardboard. I have to give you a verbal warning." Dogbert says, "I'll cry if you do."

Dogbert Gets Greenland

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Gets Greenland - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market, #business, #technology, #stock, #greenland, #sale, #mercenary, #army, #apple, #bitcoin

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: wow. my apple stock just went up 1.5%. dogbert: i sold all of my bitcoin to acquire greenland. dilbert: i didn't know it was for sale. dogbert: it wasn't, but luckily a mercenary army was.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #high-risk, #investment, #bonds, #junk, #checking, #account, #ethel's, #savings, #loan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I lost my fortune in a high-risk investment." Dilbert asks, "Junk bonds?" Dogbert covers his eyes and says, "Checking account at 'Ethel's Savings and Loan!'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #world economy, #gold, #rock, #civilization, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a fence outdoors. Dogbert asks, "Isn't it stupid that the world economy is based on gold?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . No matter how advanced civilization gets, we still use rocks for money." Dogbert says, "The dumb part is using a rock that's so hard to find."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dates, #love, #dating, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks as he reaches for the check, "All of us cosmopolitan guys use credit cards to pay for dinner." Dilbert looks at the receipt and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I never know which part of the paperwork to keep. I know something gets ripped up . . ." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . And by the time I noticed the tablecloth was tangled up with the carbon paper, I had ripped both of them to bits." Dogbert asks, "And that's wrong?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #gloat, #rock, #perfume, #decadent, #life, #desires

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Okay then, suppose you had everything you wanted. What would you do?" Dogbert answers, "Gloat. Make everybody else feel like failures. Live a garish and decadent life." Dilbert asks, "And when that gets boring?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe start my own perfume company."