Dogcart Institure Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for dogcart institure comic strips. Discover the best "Dogcart Institure" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart institure, #advanced thinking, #ending pverty, #televison, #wretched lives, #paid guests, #straggler cops

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and tells Dilbert, "Here in the 'Dogbert Institute for Advanced Thinking,' I have devised a plan for ending poverty." Dogbert continues, "My plan is to wait until there are so many talk shows on television that all the people with wretched lives can be paid guests." Dilbert asks, "What about the poor people who don't want to be on talk shows?" Dogbert replies, "We'll get the stragglers on 'Cops.'"

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disc jockeys, #protest movements, #threatening boycott, #dogcart insulted, #organic substance

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Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #device, #dogcart scam, #end of world, #evil be gone, #evil money, #give money, #scammer, #take money

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Dogbert: The end of the world is coming in the year 2000. Therefore, you should give me your money before its too late. Dogbert: It is written that money is evil, I'll keep your money in Dogberts special "evil be gone" device. And its completely deductible. ...from your savings. CUSTOMER: So Im actually making money!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

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CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project leader, #dogcart consulting, #shall do bidding, #endless variety, #expediations, #slab of liver, #external brain pack, #career low

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"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flying pigs, #dilbert dating, #insufficient light, #heel froze over, #rare occasion

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Dilbert: I think I found a woman who likes me, dogcart. Dogbert: No way! Dilbert: Its Phil, the prince of insufficient light! PHIL: Heck just froze over. Dilbert: This is NOT my fault! PHIL: tell them.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert outplacement agebcy, #doa, #freelance consulatants, #cubicles, #earn no money, #equipped, #phone, #refurbished ego

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Dogbert: welcome to the dogcart outplacement agency, or "DOA" as I call it. Dogbert: Here, Nobody "unemployed" You're freelance consultants who sit in cubicles and earn no money! Every cubicle is equipped with a phone and a refurbished ego. ego: I will not work with that thing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consulting comany, #executive compensation, #ninety percent, #overpaid, #repeat business

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Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board room, #fire employees, #no employees, #task force, #competitors, #white rumps

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EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM TED: our competitors are kicking our pasty white rumps. Ted: Im bringing in dogcart to fire employees until we're stronger than the competition. Man: How will the work get done with no employees? Ted: Id better form a test force to study that.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant

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The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"