Dogcart Attorney Comic Strips
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76 Results for Dogcart Attorney
View 1 - 10 results for dogcart attorney comic strips. Discover the best "Dogcart Attorney" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 01,
2002
Tags #dogcart attorney, #too late, #change, #punish client, #expect awkward silences, #next break
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert raises his hand and says, "Your honor, is it too late to change sides?" Dogbert continues, "After hearing the evidence, I want to punish my client." After a pause, Dogbert asks, "No?" The Boss glares at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "I expect some awkward silences during the next break."
Tuesday October 23,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #jury, #judicial system, #defense, #attorney, #obnoxious, #death, #fetching, #black, #muumuu, #honor
Transcript
The judge asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict?" Dogbert stands and replies, "Yes, your honor. We find the defense attorney poorly dressed and obnoxious. We sentence him to death." The judge says, "I don't think you can do that." Dogbert continues, "Furthermore, we find that your honor looks fetching in a black muumuu."
Tuesday July 02,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #badly, #Dogbert, #death, #penalty, #walkman, #attorney, #district
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert says, "The trial is going badly, so I'm trying to make a deal with the District Attorney." Dogbert continues, "He offered to give me a Sony Walkman if you will accept the death penalty." Dogbert continues, "I think I can get a Walkman for you, too."
Tuesday March 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #attorney, #petimony, #allegedly, #pet, #Garfield, #pat
Transcript
Dilbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm an attorney for Mister Dogbert . . ." The lawyer continues, "He's suing you for 'petimony.' You allegedly pet the neighbor's cat . . ." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "See . . It was a pat, not a pet. Like this . . ." Dogbert, who is reading the newspaper, replies, "Oh look, it's 'Garfield,' your favorite . . ."
Tuesday October 29,
2002
Tags #dogebrt attorney, #best defense, #ignorant, #stock manipulation, #convince judge, #dumber than chocolate, #outdoor las vegas, #photo convention
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert says to The Boss, "Your best defense is to say you were ignorant of your company's stock manipulation." Dogbert continues, "We need to convince a judge that you're dumber than chocolate pants at an outdoor Las Vegas photography convention." The Boss replies, "I don't get that." Dogbert says, "E-E-Excellent."
Saturday May 07,
2005
Tags #attorney, #contact, #cubicle opened, #dividing up workspace, #eyebrows, #my client, #prove, #naked, #got him for everything, #legal
Transcript
"A cubicle vacancy opened up, so I'll be moving out of here." "My attorney will contac you about dividing up our workspace property." "Next, can you proves that you have both eyebrows before you met my client?"
Sunday June 24,
2007
Tags #run by attorney, #hi with hammer, #attention, #painful process, #final result, #hammer is quicker
Transcript
The Boss: "Run this by our attorney." Dilbert: "May I vigorously hit myself with a hammer instead?" The Boss: "You have my attention." Dilbert: "Either way, it's a painful process that won't change the final result." "But the hammer is quicker and it will still make you feel as if you made me do something." The Boss: "Okay. Try the hammer thing." BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" "Now run it by our attorney so it feels as if I did two things."
Friday May 11,
2012
Tags #disc jockeys, #protest movements, #threatening boycott, #dogcart insulted, #organic substance
Transcript
Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?
Wednesday October 17,
1990
Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dilbert, #doubted, #clients, #innocence, #defense, #jury, #client, #lawyer, #civic, #duty, #Dogbert
Transcript
The caption says, "Jury selection." A lawyer says, "My client is accused of killing twelve people just like you folks." The attorney continues, "The alleged victims were all part of a previous jury who doubted my client's innocence." The jury members look horrified. The lawyer says, "This jury is acceptable to the defense."
Thursday October 18,
1990
Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #lawyer, #jury duty, #kill, #axe, #civic duty
Transcript
The defense lawyer says to the jury, "My client has been accused of the most heinous crimes." The attorney points to a man holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney asks, "But does this look like a person who could kill??" Dogbert, who is sitting next to Dilbert, raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!!"