Dogcart Wrecking Company Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

882 Results for Dogcart Wrecking Company

View 1 - 10 results for dogcart wrecking company comic strips. Discover the best "Dogcart Wrecking Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogcart wrecking company, #special, #srushing, #new car, #parking lot, #cost, #monthly plan, #free model of car, #crush little one, #crush boss car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Wally's desk, wearing a hardhat. Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Wrecking Company." Dogbert continues, "I'm running a special on crushing your boss' new car in the parking lot." Wally asks, "What does it cost?" Dogbert: "The first one is free." Dogbert adds, "If you're satisfied, I hope you'll consider my monthly plan." Wally is standing at the window with Dogbert, pointing outside. "It's the red one. He brags about it every day." The Boss is standing in front of Wally and Dilbert, holding up a model car. The Boss explains, "And when you spend that much, the dealer gives you a free model of your car!" There is a car horn heard off in the distance. Wally is slipping Dogbert a stack of bills. He adds, "And next month can you crush the little one on his desk too?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #door, #wrecking, #house, #johnsons, #leveled, #noise

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings and Dilbert says, "Dogbert, see who's at the door." A man tells Dogbert, "Hi. I'm from the 'Big Ball Wrecking Company.' I have a work order to destroy this house." Dogbert reads the order and syas, "Looks like you have the wrong address. This is Walnut AVENUE. Walnut STREET is clear across town." The man says, "Oh phlegm! I don't have time to drive way over there." The man asks, "Would it be a bother if I just leveled this house instead?" Dogbert replies, "That would be a tad inconvenient. Try the Johnsons, next door." Dilbert asks, "What was that loud noise?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently the Johnsons aren't home."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #poodle, #nightfall, #pound, #incarceration, #dream sequence, #dangerous, #place

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Don't worry, killer, I'll get us out of this pound by nightfall. Poodle: How? Dogbert: I used my one phone call to call a wrecking company to destroy this place. Poodle: That sound dangerous to me. Coming up: A near-death experience or possibly just a stupid dream sequence.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #consulting comany, #executive compensation, #ninety percent, #overpaid, #repeat business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #epic year, #unethical behavior, #rebarnding, #hired dogcart consulting, #small improvements, #rename company, #stinking weasel, #slogan, #steal, #rob, #corruption, #hiring pirate, #diseased parrot

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Thanks to an epic year of unethical behavior..." The Boss continues, "We need to do some rebranding so that no one knows who we are." The Boss points to Dogbert and continues, "I hired the Dogbert Consulting Company to help." Dogbert says, "You can't fix your image all at once. I recommend starting with small improvements." Dogbert continues, "First, rename the company to Stinkingweasels Inc." Dogbert continues, "The new slogan will be 'We steal in ways you've never even heard of.'" Dogbert turns to The Boss and says, "For your spokesperson, I recommend hiring a pirate with a diseased parrot." The Boss is holding a bag of money. He says to the pirate, "No?" The pirate responds, "We have standards."

Actual Company Policy

Thank you for voting.
Actual Company Policy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #management, #manipulation, #strategy, #vacation, #training, #company policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #executives, #interviews, #ceo's interview series, #company priftable, #credit, #overpaid and useless, #dumb employees, #highest bidder, #blackmail, #interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I don't like people." Dogbert says, "What makes your company so profitable?" CEO says, "I give all of the credit to our fine employees." Dogbert says, "Is that another way of saying you're overpaid and useless?" CEO says, "Um... no. I'm their leader. I set the direction." Dogbert says, "Because the employees are too dumb to set their own direction?" CEO says, "No! They're smart!" Dogbert says, "But not as smart as you?" CEO says, "Who's going to see this?" Dogbert says, "No one, assuming you're the highest bidder." Dogbert's CEO Interview Series

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #engineers, #telomeres, #value work, #company gym, #slacker trap

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for engineers with short telomeres for their age. That's an indication that you value work above exercise. Man: But you have a company gym. Boss: That's our slacker trap!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #using company gym, #60 hrs week, #paying for itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.