Doing It Wrong Comic Strips

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783 Results for Doing It Wrong

View 1 - 10 results for doing it wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Doing It Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #good, #bad, #news, #companies, #compete, #small, #nimble, #rate, #smallest, #company

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've got good news and bad news." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that huge companies like us can't compete against small, nimble companies. The good news is that at this rate WE'LL be the smallest company around." Dilbert, Alice and Ted shout, "We're number one! Yes!!" The Boss thinks, "What am I doing wrong here?"

A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong

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A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #correct, #friends, #mistakes, #sarcasm, #technology, #watch, #wrong

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dilbert: i have a feeling you are doing something wrong, but i don't know what. do you mind if i watch over your shoulder and look for mistakes as you make them? coworker: you don't have friends, do you? dilbert: i like to travel light.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doing it wrong, #response time, #sub second, #two seconds, #always right, #never wrong, #screaming

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Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #concerned, #running, #president, #wrong, #reasons, #ego, #gratification, #power, #wealth, #ignorant, #masses

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I'm concerned that you might be running for President for the wrong reasons . . ." Dilbert asks, "Are you doing it for ego gratification, power, and wealth?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Well, those are all the wrong reasons." Dogbert says, "Of course, I'll tell the ignorant masses that it's because I hate big government."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reliable computer, #use software, #poing a spoon, #hole in back, #doing it worng

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Dilmom is at a computer store. The salesman says, "This is our most reliable computer, unless you try to use software." The salesman says, "It'll freeze several times a day. But you can restart it by poking a spoon into a hole in the back." Dilbert's mom says, "Has that ever worked?" The salesman says, "We think people are doing it wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #role model, #wrong, #drink in

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The Boss says, "I'm here to be your role model." The Boss says, "My actions speak louder than my words. Just drink me in." The Boss says, "I think you're doing your part wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #assignment, #boss, #cubicle, #less is more, #more is less, #not interchangable, #wrong pharsing

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The Boss: Here's your assignment. Do it! Do it! Do it, you idiot!" Dilbert: What kind of management is that? The Boss: That's called tough love. Dilbert: Tough love only makes sense if I am doing something wrong and refuse to change. The Boss: Well, sometimes more is less. Dilbert: The saying it 'less is more,' not 'more is less. The Boss: If less equals more, then more must equal less. Duh. "This is the part where you usually refuse to admit you are wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spreadsheet, #terrible job, #boos, #meeting, #office, #poorly conceived, #complexity of real world, #wrong cells, #numbers don't lie, #business

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The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #bad advice, #projects, #work load, #freaking out, #tackle, #unpleasant tasks first, #wrong order

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Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joking, #laughter, #medicine, #neck pain, #sleep, #sound wise, #slept wrong, #employee, #employer, #health

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Boss: My neck is killing me. I must have slept wrong. Dilbert: Ha ha ha! You can't even sleep right! I'm doing you a favor because laughter is the best medicine. Hee hee! Boss: Why does that no longer sound wise?!!