Donna Oatney Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Donna Oatney

View 1 - 10 results for donna oatney comic strips. Discover the best "Donna Oatney" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Has Passon For No Goals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Passon For No Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #achievement, #laziness, #work ethic, #catch-22, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You told us we need to set goals and have passion. But what if my passion is to avoid having measurable goals? Boss: You're passionate about being useless? Wally: Hey, back off, dream-killer.

Dilbert Characters

Asok's Legacy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Legacy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judge, #judging, #overshare, #sharing, #socks, #guest artist, #donna oatney, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Do you ever worry about your legacy? Asok: I worry about someone finding out my socks are so worn out that all I have left are the ankle parts. CEO: Well, that's enough about you.

Bring Me Solutions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #managers, #useless, #double standard, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.

What The Family Would Think

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What The Family Would Think - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #interview, #lying, #deception, #commitment, #honesty, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: If you hire me, I will dedicate 100 percent of my energy to making this company succeed! Dilbert: What would your family think if they heard that? Man: They'd understand. They're all huge liars, too.

Random Number Generator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Random Number Generator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #engineering, #knowledge, #promote, #prima donna, #demonstrate, #personality, #dissorders, #mumble, #disdain, #humanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chance, #promoted, #technology, #prima donna, #personality, #disorder, #person, #learn, #dustin, #hoffman, #sean penn, #paparazzi

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #dates, #favor, #donna, #improves, #odds, #telepathic, #twins

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a bouquet of flowers and rings a doorbell. Dilbert thinks, "If I have enough blind dates, eventually the odds will be in my favor." A pair of conjoined twins answers the door and says, "Hi, I'm Debbie and I'm Donna." Dilbert sits on the couch thinking, "I think this actually improves my odds." The siamese twins say, "We're telepathic."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new personlaity, #non standard, #approved corporate personalities, #sycophants glad hander, #sadist, #prima donna, #empty suit, #whining misfit, #spec sheet, #dialoque

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Catbert, evil H.R. Director." Catbert is sitting behind a desk in a throne-like chair. He tells Dilbert, who is sitting in a very small chair: "We've decided to give you a new personality." Dilbert is surprised: "What! Why?" Catbert explains: "You're current personality is non-standard." He continues: "You must choose one of the approved corporate personalities." Catbert presents the options: "The choices are sycophant, glad-hander, sadist, quantoid, prima donna, empty suit, or whining misfit." Dilbert says: "Empty suit sounds interesting." Catbert says: "Excellent choice. Here's the Spec Sheet." Wally asks Dilbert about the meeting: "How did it go?" Dilbert answers, reading from the Spec Sheet: "Same ol' Same ol'. You got that right!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prima donna, #indeispensable, #being obnoxious, #undermining authority, #pants optional zone

View Transcript

Transcript

"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."