Dont Eat Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Dont Eat
View 1 - 10 results for dont eat comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Eat" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 29,
2001
Tags #anyone offers food, #dont eat, #fill in receptionist, #impression visitors, #face of company
Transcript
The Boss comes to Carol's desk and says, "Carol, I need you to fill in for our receptionist today." The Boss continues, "Remember, you will be the face of our company, the first impression for visitors." Carol is seen at the receptionist's desk. A visitor stands at the desk looking surprised as Carol says, "If anyone offers you food, don't eat it."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday August 31,
2004
Tags #don't eat money, #false hope business, #lose weight, #get rich, #semi plausible
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm going into the false hope business. All I need is a semi plausible message about how to lose weight while getting rich." "Don't eat your money."
Friday January 26,
2007
Tags #meeting right now, #lunch time, #12 hours, #misery, #envy, #dead don't eat lucnch
Transcript
The Boss: Can you come to a meeting right now? Dilbert: No, it's almost lunch time. If I miss lunch, my day will be 12 hours of uninterrupted misery. I will envy the dead. The Boss: That's stupid. The dead don't eat lunch either.
Sunday February 02,
2014
Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #jeff bezos rule, #rule of meetings, #two pizzas, #feed a meeting, #eat two pizzas, #zeros paradox, #feed everyone, #cheese bread, #business
Transcript
Boss: We're going to use the Jeff Bezos rule of meetings. Bezos says you should never have a meeting that is so big you can't feed everyone with two pizzas. Wally: I can eat two pizzas by myself. Alice: How do you count the people who have gluten sensitivity and don't eat pizza? Dilbert: If I apply Zeno's Paradox to the slice size, can I have infinite attendees? Wally: And what does it mean to "feed" everyone? Do they need to be totally full? Boss: Stop being engineers! Wally: How does cheese bread fit into this?
Thursday July 26,
2018
How About Lunch
Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?
Thursday April 04,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #humans, #sleep, #eat, #don't, #die, #existential, #crisis
Transcript
Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.
Thursday March 22,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #blind date, #biggest, #woman, #chance, #financially, #surviving, #dinner, #eat, #starch, #pasta, #banned, #life
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."
Thursday January 09,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #snack, #apple, #rat, #worst, #part, #eat
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert enters carrying an apple and says, "Snack time, Dilbert! I brought you an apple so you will like me!" Dilbert says, "Nice try, Ratbert, but I don't want to eat something that was touched by a rat." Ratbert says sadly, "The worst part is that's why I didn't eat it myself."
Wednesday September 16,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #vegetarian, #dead, #animals, #cook, #carcinogenic, #eat, #nutritious, #question, #reason, #cult
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I don't understand why you, or anybody, would become a vegetarian." Dogbert replies, "You mean, why don't I take dead animals, cook them until they become carcinogenic, then eat them instead of something nutritious? Is that your question?" Dilbert answers, "Exactly. Is there any good reason? Have you joined a cult?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently."
Saturday April 03,
2004
Tags #picture n stapler, #personal items, #desktops, #exception, #eat paper, #parasite
Transcript
"Do you mind if I put your picture on my stapler?" "Well, I don't allow personal items on desktops, but I'll make an exception." "Eat paper you ignorant parasite! Ha ha ha!"