Dont Idel Well Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for dont idel well comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Idel Well" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss, #Dilbert, #dont idel well, #freaks out, #gets phone call, #lost connection, #meeting, #sit still challenge, #mind body connection, #business

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The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, come here for a minute." The Boss and Dilbert are walking towards The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "I need to talk to you about..." He is interrupted by the ringing telephone. The Boss is on the telephone. He holds up his finger at Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "He's giving me the 'wait' signal." Dilbert continues to think, "I have nothing to look at, nothing to fiddle with, nothing to do." Dilbert continues to think, "I'll try thinking about how my mind controls my muscles." Dilbert's arms start shaking. He thinks, "Uh-oh... I'm getting too conscious of my muscles and it's freaking me out." Dilbert falls back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I've lost my mind-body connection!!" Dilbert is on the floor with his feet up in the air. The Boss says into the phone, "The problem with my engineers is that they don't idle well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dieting & weight control, #interviews, #tattoos & body marking, #job interview, #face tattoo, #overeating, #bad idea, #people can see, #dont interview well

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Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #functions to outsorce, #dont do well, #management, #sales, #quality control, #core competenece, #brown table startegy, #business

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, I put together a list of functions we should outsource." Dilbert continues, "I limited my list to things we don't do well." The Boss and Wally listen as Dilbert's voice continues, "Marketing, quality control, engineering, finance, human resources, and customer support." Dilbert says, "That leaves us with our core competence..." Dilbert continues, "... Sitting around a brown table." Dilbert says, "And, of course, our ability to speak honestly without fear of retribution." The Boss says, "You will never get another raise as long as I'm alive." Dilbert responds, "Well, that puts a lot of pressure on the brown table strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #elbonians, #free, #speech, #societal, #market, #pressures, #squelch, #original, #ideas

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Dilbert, Dogbert and several Elbonians sit at a conference table. Dogbert is wearing a miter. An Elbonian says, "Your Highness, the Elbonian people demand free speech." The man continues, "But don't worry, we'll still have societal and market pressures to squelch any original ideas." The man continues, "Frankly, all we want to do is make fun of your little hat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #using binders, #illeagl, #size of cubicle, #staus, #raise

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Dilbert hums as he stacks binders outside the door of his cubicle. Wally says, "It looks like somebody is using binders to illegally increase the size of his cubicle." Wally says angrily, "You think your status will increase with your cubicle size, don't you! Well, it won't work!" The Boss walks over, hands Dilbert a check and says, "Here's a raise. I don't know why." A woman whispers to Wally, "Pssst. Is he seeing anybody?" Wally growls, "RRRR."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

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Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #distress, #introvert, #draining energy, #sick, #work, #medical

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Coworker: Are you okay? You don't look well. Dilbert: I'm an introvert. Being near you is draining the energy from my body. Coworker: I'm not sure how to take that. Dilbert: I can't feel my legs!

Wally Self Identifies As A Woman

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Wally Self Identifies As A Woman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #trans, #transgender, #gimmick

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Catbert: I heard that you self-identify as a woman. Wally: No, I don't. Catbert: Well, I need you to do that so the company can be supportive and win some awards for being a great place to work. Dilbert: Because why? Wally: I got my own bathroom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #stress, #burned out, #gray hair, #don't handle stress

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Man: I'm burned out by this job. Is that a gray hair? Dilbert: Have we met? Man: I started yesterday. I don't handle stress well.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #nobody likes prodcuts, #ix that, #internal business units, #don't like boss

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Dogbert tells the Boss, "One way to look at your problem is that nobody likes your products." Dogbert continues, "But I don't know how to fix that. So I recommend forming internal business units to bicker with each other." The Boss asks, "Why would you recommend that?" Dogbert responds, "Well, I'd be lying if I said I liked you."