Dot Com President Comic Strips
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110 Results for Dot Com President
View 1 - 10 results for dot com president comic strips. Discover the best "Dot Com President" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 31,
2001
Tags #evil hr director, #five years expereince, #job interview, #no profit, #dot com president, #Catbert
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIL H.R. DIRECTOR: A man sitting across the desk from Catbert says, "... And I have five years experience as a dot-com president." The man listens as Catbert says, "You're in luck. We need someone who can burn through twenty million dollars without making a profit." Catbert grins widely as the man says, "Really? The last nine interviewers said the same thing but they were joking."
Thursday March 15,
2001
Tags #billion shares, #dot com subsidary, #fire everyone, #presdient, #raise, #stock, #promoting
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to president of our dot-com subsidiary." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your job is to fire everyone." Dilbert asks, "Would I get a raise?" The Boss answers, "How does a billion shares of stock sound?"
Friday March 16,
2001
Tags #dot com ceo, #no profit, #laid off, #laid off means, #compliment, #baby bottle, #youngsters, #meeting, #firing people, #business
Transcript
DILBERT: DOT-COM CEO: Dilbert sits at the head of a table and children sit in seats around the table. One of the children has a baby bottle at his place. Dilbert says, "We have no profit now and we never will. You're all laid off." The child with the baby bottle asks, "Does anyone know what laid off means?" A young man says, "It must be a compliment." The young man says to Dilbert, "You're pretty laid off yourself, dude." The child offers his baby bottle to Dilbert and says, "Want a hit of this?"
Wednesday November 21,
2001
Tags #elbonia, #mud delivery business, #general economic slowdown, #dot com meltdown, #sell mud, #live in mud, #call fudge
Transcript
Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert is wading through water towards Elbonians. Dilbert says, "Can anyone tell me why your mud delivery business is failing? Anyone?" One Elbonian raises his hand and says, "Is it because of the general economic slow down?" Another adds, "Dot-com meltdown?" Dilbert says, "And maybe because you sell mud to people who live in mud?" An Elbonian replies, "What if we call it fudge?"
Sunday January 21,
2001
Tags #professional liar, #why kind of lie, #lousy movie, #cover of lousy book, #dot commer, #filthy, #have limits, #mena, #liar mad
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk in the window of a storefront. The sign outside says "Professional Liar." A man looks in the window. The man is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "What kind of lie do you need?" The man says, "It's... It's embarrassing." Dogbert says, "Are you a producer who needs a good review for a lousy movie?" The man says, "No." Dogbert asks, "Are you an author who needs a slobbering quote for the cover of your lousy book?" The man says, "It's worse than that. Much worse." Dogbert says, "Worse? That could only be... aaack!" Dogbert exclaims, "Find someone else, you filthy dot-com founder! I have my limits!" The man is now sitting at a desk with a man in a suit. The man says, "... And since your firm underwrote our IPO..." The man in a suit says, "Would I get to be on TV?"
Monday February 20,
2012
Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug
Transcript
CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.
Thursday December 28,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dan quayle, #vice president, #states, #pants, #lord, #bed, #rock
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Oh, sure, Dan Quayle may be Vice President of the United States . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But he still puts his pants on one leg at a time." Dan Quayle sits on his bed with his arms through one of his pant legs. Marilyn Quayle covers her eyes and thinks, "Oh, Lord, not this again . . ."
Saturday February 02,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #rex, #dinosaurs, #behavior, #congress, #laws, #president, #balance, #power
Transcript
Rex: Dogbert, what's the congress? Dogbert: They make laws, Rex. Rex: Then what does the president do? Dogbert: He vetoes the laws. It's called balance of power. Rex: I guess they don't get paid much for doing that. Dogbert: Here's the confusing part...
Monday February 04,
1991
Tags #bob, #dinosaur, #Dogbert, #desk, #armchair, #president, #bush's, #springer, #spaniel
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur stands next to Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm writing to President Bush's dog." Bob says, "You don't mean . . ." Dogbert responds, "Millie, their Springer Spaniel." Dogbert looks at Bob and asks, "Who did you think I meant?"
Monday November 25,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #president, #Dilbert, #opening, #supreme court, #old, #wandered, #nominating, #dog, #loyal, #george, #somebody, #message
Transcript
A presidential aide says to the President, "Mister President, there's another opening on the Supreme Court. One of the old guys wandered away." The aide continues, "I recommend nominating a dog this time. They tend to be loyal and everybody likes them." Dilbert hands Dogbert the phone and says, "It's for you . . . George somebody." Dogbert says, "Take a message."