Double Cross Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

98 Results for Double Cross

View 1 - 10 results for double cross comic strips. Discover the best "Double Cross" comics from Dilbert.com.

Groomed For Management

Thank you for voting.
Groomed For Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2017's comic on:

Tags #back-stabbing, #management, #betrayal, #double cross

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.

If You Double Your Productivity

Thank you for voting.
If You Double Your Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2015's comic on:

Tags #productivity, #work ethic, #reward, #wages, #double-standard, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If I double my productivity, will you double my pay? Boss: No, but it might increase my bonus. So go ahead. Dilbert: Let's forget I brought it up. Boss: You just earned a "lazy" on your next review.

Double Standard

Thank you for voting.
Double Standard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2015's comic on:

Tags #language, #Women, #Men, #curse, #cursing, #swearing, #swear, #yelling, #fair, #fairness, #equality, #double-standard

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There's a double-standard. Men can shout and curse and no one blinks. But if I say one stern word to someone, they call me "emotional." Dilbert: I've seen you make men cry during meetings. Alice: Only the wusses.

Asok's Body Double

Thank you for voting.
Asok's Body Double - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2016's comic on:

Tags #arrest, #hit man, #mistaken identity, #body double, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.

Ted Cross Trains

Thank you for voting.
Ted Cross Trains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2018's comic on:

Tags #cross-training, #fired, #firing, #unemployment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I need you to train the new hire how to do your job. Ted: Are you firing me? Boss: No, no. Just standard cross-training. Ted: Okay, I was worried for a second there. Boss: And start tidying up your cubicle.

Dilbert Characters

Cross Training

Thank you for voting.
Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2020's comic on:

Tags #co-workers, #business, #cross train, #fire, #job, #dumb, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #doors, #double doors, #fool, #ventilation ducts, #outside

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down a hallway thinking, "Uh oh . . . Double doors. One side is always locked and I make a fool of myself trying to open it." Dilbert thinks, "Which side is it? Left? Right? People are watching. Think, think . . ." Dilbert arrives at home looking dirty and disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That's when I noticed that the ventilation ducts were big enough for a human to crawl through." Dogbert says, "Too bad they didn't lead to outside."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1992's comic on:

Tags #rivers and trees, #management, #course, #exercise, #favorite, #rope, #team, #figure, #cross, #muddy, #patch, #feet, #dirty, #ranger

View Transcript

Transcript

An instructor says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "This next exercise is always a favorite." The instructor points to a muddy streambed and says, "Using only a rope, your team must figure out how to cross the muddy patch without getting your feet dirty." The instructor lies across the muddy patch, bound by the rope. He says, I could have been a forest ranger, but no-o-o-o . . ."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1994's comic on:

Tags #bob the dinosaur, #double fee, #triple fee, #infinity plus one, #childish men, #hired to beat, #tail, #project requiremnets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I hired Bob the dinosaur to beat you with his tail until you give me the project requirements. MAN: HA! I'll double your fee if you thump Dilbert instead. Dilbert: I 'll triple the fee! Dilbert: He can't really pay you "infinity" plus one. BOB: I wonder how much this is on an hourly basis.