Double Delivery Time Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Double Delivery Time
View 1 - 10 results for double delivery time comic strips. Discover the best "Double Delivery Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 14,
2001
Tags #negotiated contract, #six weeks, #double delivery time, #devious weasel, #simply incompetent
Transcript
Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."
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Wednesday May 06,
2015
If You Double Your Productivity
Tags #productivity, #work ethic, #reward, #wages, #double-standard, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: If I double my productivity, will you double my pay? Boss: No, but it might increase my bonus. So go ahead. Dilbert: Let's forget I brought it up. Boss: You just earned a "lazy" on your next review.
Friday July 17,
2015
Double Standard
Tags #language, #Women, #Men, #curse, #cursing, #swearing, #swear, #yelling, #fair, #fairness, #equality, #double-standard
Transcript
Alice: There's a double-standard. Men can shout and curse and no one blinks. But if I say one stern word to someone, they call me "emotional." Dilbert: I've seen you make men cry during meetings. Alice: Only the wusses.
Saturday July 18,
2015
Going Double Digital
Tags #attention, #distraction, #technology, #watch, #relationships, #dating, #smart phone, #smart watch
Transcript
Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?
Saturday December 17,
2016
Asok's Body Double
Tags #arrest, #hit man, #mistaken identity, #body double, #doppelganger
Transcript
Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.
Monday April 02,
2018
Spare Time
Wednesday August 29,
2018
Dogbert's Time Management Book
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #time, #management, #time management, #blank
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to read my book on time management? Dilbert: Yes. These pages are blank. Dogbert: I just saved you three hours.
Saturday November 09,
2019
Time Travel By Printer
Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting
Transcript
dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?
Sunday March 22,
2020
Time Stands Still
Tags #business, #technology, #phone, #search, #time, #bored, #Win, #still
Transcript
dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.
Saturday July 11,
2020
First Time For Everything
Tags #amazing, #business, #business plan, #concept, #first time, #good, #managers & supervisors, #new, #pandemic, #face mask, #covid
Transcript
boss and wally wearing face masks. boss: why should we do what you are suggesting when literally no one has ever tried it before? wally: because everything good and amazing had to be done by someone for the first time. boss: will this be good and amazing? wally: let's keep this on the concept level.