Search Results for "drag to curb"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 12

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2002's comic on:

Tags #short timer, #refuse to leave, #motorized wheel chair, #lift me, #drag to curb

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Short-Timer. Asok asks the short-timer, "How will you leave if you refuse to use any major muscle groups until retirement?" The short-timer responds, "I'm hoping someone will buy me a motorized wheelchair and lift me into it." Asok says, "I would be willing to drag you to the curb." The short-timer responds, "Face up?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculations, #collection, #business, #curb, #pick-up, #pizza, #delivery

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the desk with a calculator and paper in front of him. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "By my calculations, we can make millions by combining a mortuary business and a garbage collection business." Dogbert continues, "Our customers could simply leave the dearly departed by the curb for pick-up." Dilbert says, "Maybe we could add pizza delivery, too." Dogbert says, "Let's not push a good idea too far."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1993's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #whales, #extinct, #hear, #seeing-eye, #fetch, #paper, #drag, #mammals, #burning, #building

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on the computer. The Boss says, "Sometimes I wonder, how would MY life be different if all whales were extinct?" The Boss continues, "It's not like they do anything for us. You never hear of seeing-eye whales. They can't fetch the paper or drag you out of a burning building . . ." The Boss asks, "Don't you think the world has too many fat, worthless mammals?" Dilbert replies, "I was just thinking that, sir."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2000's comic on:

Tags #higher drag coefficient, #interns head, #quantify benefits, #knowledge management

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to the Boss: "I've been asked to quantify the benefits of our knowledge management systems." She points to a photograph of an intern: "I measured our intern's head to see if it got bigger." She explains: "The higher drag coefficient means we lost a little in the sandwich-fetching department."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1999's comic on:

Tags #proactive, #boring meeting, #fake death, #coffee is posioned, #stiffen, #easier to drag, #pose, #obscene, #spread eagle, #casket, #dispose of body, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in a metting between Dilbert and Alice. Wally thinks, "I'll have to be proactive to escape this boring meeting." Wally takes a sip from his coffee and thinks, "I'll fake my own death and hope someone drags me into the hallway." Wally says, "Ack!! My coffee is poisoned!" Wally lies on the ground feet in the air. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should drag him into the hallway." Alice says, "No." Alice says, "Let's wait for him to stiffen. Then he'll be easier to drag." Ted says, "We should pose him before he stiffens." Dilbert says, "Something obscene?" Alice says, "Or spread eagle, so he won't fit in a casket." Wally lies on the grouns arms and legs wide with his coffe cup pearched on his face and thinks, "It never pays to be the proactive one."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2010's comic on:

Tags #social netowrks, #Games, #phones, #curb pick up, #dustbin of history, #twitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "The only thing that matter are social networks, games and phones." Dogbert says, "You're not working on any of that, so I arranged for the dustbin of history to do curb pickup." Asok says, "Please! I Twitter!" Garbage man says, "Too little, too late."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #suitcase, #luggage, #m'lord, #maintain, #delicate, #balance, #nature, #sire

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert lands in Elbonia without his suitcase." Dilbert lands head-first in the mud. Dogbert, who is holding a rifle and wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "You bagged a nice piece of luggage, M'Lord." A suitcase with a hole in the side of it lies in the mud. As they drag the suitcase behind them, Dogbert says, "I like to think this helps maintain the delicate balance of nature." The Elbonian says, "Yes, sire."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #bob, #theory, #denigrate, #superior, #comparison, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Bob the Dinosaur sit at a table. Dilbert says, "My problem is that other people keep trying drag me down, Bob." Dilbert continues, "My theory is that people denigrate me because it makes them feel superior in comparison." Bob replies, "Sounds like a stupid theory to me."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2000's comic on:

Tags #company saidst, #fist of death, #note from author, #big bag, #dumpster, #disclaimer, #nothing bad happened

View Transcript

Transcript

Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1999's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #new engineer, #cheap, #huge raise, #under budget, #static electricity, #fuzzy cute, #dead now

View Transcript

Transcript

Title reads: "Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert is at his desk. He says to Dilbert, "I hired a new engineer for your project." Catbert unveils the new engineer. He is a joke. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, his eyes are wide, his collar is up and one side of his shirt is untucked. Catbert says, "He's never been an engineer before." Dilbert listens as Catbert continues, "But YOU'RE an engineer, so how hard could it be?" Catbert adds, "And he's cheap! I'll get a huge raise for being under budget." Dilbert is getting furious. Catbert exclaims, "And your project will fail! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" As the new engineer reaches towards him, Catbert realizes, "Uh-oh. I laughed myself full of static electricity." The new engineer thinks, "Fuzzy. Cute." and pets Catbert. "Zap!" Dilbert, standing over the body of the new engineer, asks, "He's dead. Now what?" Catbert replies, "I guess you'll have to drag him to the meetings."