Drained Comic Strips
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7 Results for Drained
View 1 - 7 results for drained comic strips. Discover the best "Drained" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 06,
1995
Tags #week behind, #poor leadership, #drained, #parents, #accept some resposibility, #creating you, #parents drunk
Transcript
The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Can you explain why you're a week behind schedule?" Dilbert turns to face the Boss and says, "Your poor leadership has drained me of the enthusiasm that is necessary to succeed. But it's not completely YOUR fault." Dilbert continues, "Frankly, your parents have to accept some responsibility for creating you." The Boss asks, "Even if they were drunk?"
Thursday July 25,
2002
Tags #feng shui, #office, #trerrible, #energy being drained, #computer fan
Transcript
Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "The feng shui in your office is terrible." The Boss replies, "It is?" Carol says, "That hum... it's the sound of your energy being drained into the internet." Dilbert asks Carol, "Who told him that his computer fan is killing him?"
Sunday December 12,
2004
Tags #cubicle vampire, #happy coowrkers, #in search of, #talk, #work related issues, #life drained, #gut instinct, #you're hire
Transcript
Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"
Friday October 11,
2013
Tags #friendship, #introvert, #drained, #human vibe, #bird, #furniture, #robots, #animals, #relationships
Transcript
Wally: You claim to be an introvert and yet you never seem to be drained when you talk to me. Dilbert: That's because you don't put off a human vibe. I experience you in the same way I experience birds, furniture, and robots. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: Don't talk.
Monday July 19,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #project, #man
Transcript
The Boss says to an employee, "Your new project will have no budget and no management support. Expect to spend most of your time giving status reports." The man's head disappears and he thinks, "Oh no! The life force has been drained out of me! I'm becoming a damp rag!!!" Dilbert looks at the floor and says, "That's amazing." The Boss replies, "It's nothing. I did eighteen at once at the employee empowerment brunch."
Wednesday July 21,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #law firm, #accounting
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm from the law firm of Dogbert, Dogbert and Dogbert. I'm suing you for draining the life force out of your employees." Dogbert holds a rag and says, "After being drained of life, employees are forced to leave the company. The lucky ones get jobs as rags for a car wash, like Joey Pishkin here." The Boss blows his nose on a rag. Dogbert says to the rag he's holding, "What Joey? That's Marge from accounting???"
Saturday April 06,
2019
Teaching Ai To Flirt
Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot
Transcript
dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m