Search Results for "drastic budget cuts"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 308

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2008's comic on:

Tags #boss, #budget, #clothes, #drastic budget cuts, #dramatic, #how much cut, #buzzards seem selective

View Transcript

Transcript

Finance troll: We need to make drastic budget cuts. The boss: Let's not get all dramatic. Just tell me how much to cut and I'll make it happen. Dilbert: On the plus side,, the buzzards seem selective.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1994's comic on:

Tags #budget analyst, #budget cuts, #intelligent choices, #understand enginering, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1995's comic on:

Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1996's comic on:

Tags #ratbert, #corporate trainer, #grim downsizer, #stress reduction, #budget cuts, #class evaluation forms

View Transcript

Transcript

The Grim Reaper approaches Ratbert and says, "Pssst!" The Grim Reaper says, "I'm the Grim Downsizer. Trainers are the first to go. I'll just hang around here until the next budget cuts." Ratbert looks scared. The Angel of Death asks, "Do you mind if I sit in on your stress-reduction class?" Ratbert says, "I don't think I'll read the class evaluation forms from this one."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1997's comic on:

Tags #budget cuts, #do more with less, #first staff meeting, #less planning, #unnecessary work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "As you requested, I have learned to 'do more with less.'" Wally continues, "I'm doing more unnecessary work, with less planning, less intelligence, and less guilt." The Boss says, "I hate the first staff meeting after budget cuts." Wally adds, "And less career aspiration, too!"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1998's comic on:

Tags #project staus, #budget cuts, #new prodcut, #user interface, #target market, #too shy, #bad sign, #no laws, #do for living

View Transcript

Transcript

Project Status: Dilbert is giving a presentation. He points to the overhead projection. He says, "Due to budget cuts, our new product will have no user interface." The projection shows a blank computer monitor. Dilbert continues, "Our target market is people who are too shy to return products." The projection is of a person blushing. Dilbert comes home carrying his brief case. He says to Dogbert, "Is it a bad sign if you spend the day wondering why there are no laws against what you do for a living?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1998's comic on:

Tags #rag man, #project luser, #budget cuts, #beg for resources, #pencil shavings, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I'm the Rag Man from Project Luser." Rag Man says, "Budget cuts have hit our project hard. I'm forced to beg for resources." Dilbert holds out something and says, "I can spare some pencil shavings." Rag Man says, "Excellent! We make coffee out of that."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1998's comic on:

Tags #dogbert the ceo, #stock price, #personal gain, #budget cuts, #products, #relevant

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at head of table surrounded by workers. Dogbert says, "I've decided to manipulate our stock price for personal gain." Dogbert continues, "I'll spin off a few divisions, buy back some of our stock and announce massive budget cuts." Worker asks Dogbert, "Um...do you even know what products we make?" Dogbert replies, "How would that be relevant?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1998's comic on:

Tags #goal to motivate, #build global satellite netwrok, #feel sdifferent, #Right, #energetic feeling, #pinned, #burning couch, #dizzy, #budget cuts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2002's comic on:

Tags #budget cuts, #customer service, #pranks calls to elderly, #neighbor, #treasure buried, #under lawn

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert reports to The Boss, "Our budget cuts are affecting customer service." The Boss asks, "How much?" Dilbert continues, "Our customer service center spends all day making prank calls to the elderly." A customer service representative says into the phone, "According to our records, your neighbor has treasure buried under his lawn."