Drill For Oil Comic Strips
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34 Results for Drill For Oil
View 1 - 10 results for drill for oil comic strips. Discover the best "Drill For Oil" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 25,
2007
Tags #donate, #campaign, #drill for oil, #opppenets lawn, #bureau of alcohol tobacco firearms, #Politics
Transcript
Dogbert: "donate to my campaign, and I'll let you drill for oil in my opponent's lawn." "And I'll appoint you to run the bureau of alcohol, tobacco and firearms." Man: "Is that as fun as it sounds?" Dogbert: "Not for your neighbors."
Monday April 09,
2001
Tags #discovered oil, #wild life perserve, #elbonian, #endangered species, #no impact, #drilled unicorn, #dead, #animals, #drill fields
Transcript
The Boss: we've discovered oil in the Elbonian wild life preserve. DOnt worry about the endangered species. Our drilling will have no impact. ELbonian: oops
Saturday July 14,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #auto service, #question, #change oil, #new oil, #second, #option
Transcript
Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."
Saturday June 12,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #organized, #tasks, #priorities, #trouble, #stapler, #oil, #goodness, #Wally
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "There . . . I've organized all of my tasks into 'A,' 'B' and 'C' priorities." Dilbert thinks, "The 'A' priorities aren't even worth doing. And the 'B' priority stuff would probably get me in trouble." Dilbert asks Wally, "Are you done with the stapler oil?" Wally holds up a polished stapler and says, "Thank goodness for 'C' priorities."
Wednesday June 28,
1995
Tags #benchmarked, #five world class companies, #comparisons, #irrelevant, #industries, #potato chip, #develop software, #oil chips
Transcript
Alice points to a display created by a laptop and overhead projector. She says, "As you requested, I benchmarked our company against five world-class companies." Alice continues, "The comparisons are irrelevant because we're in different industries. But that didn't stop me." The Boss asks, "Why can they make a potato chip in one second but it takes up months to develop software?" Alice answers, "I think they oil the chips."
Thursday November 30,
2000
Tags #one vote, #cpr, #heimlich maneuver, #two votes, #yelling boo, #drill hole, #below
Transcript
Asok the Intern is down and his legs are sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "Okay, we have one vote for using CPR, one vote for the Heimlich Maneuver..." Dilbert continues, "And two votes for sneaking up behind him and yelling 'boo'." Dilbert, Wally, Alice and The Boss look at Asok lying on the floor as Dilbert says, "I don't see how we can get behind him." The Boss says, "What if we drill a hole from below?"
Wednesday April 11,
2001
Tags #oil wells, #albanian wild life preserve, #extinction, #seven species, #useless, #species, #eat and grunt
Transcript
The boss is giving a presentation as he points to a slide of a dead animal. The boss says, "Our oil wells in the Elbonian Wildlife Preserve have caused the extinction of seven species." The boss continues, "Luckily, they were useless species who did nothing but eat and grunt." Wally is sitting beside Dilbert, eating a doughnut and grunting, "Mm..mm..mm.."
Thursday April 11,
2002
Tags #flirting, #non smoker, #oil him up, #ordering repair guy, #shave back, #tall, #repair guy, #copier
Transcript
Carol says into the telephone, "And I'd like the copier repair guy to be a tall non- smoker with well-defined abs." Carol continues, "Oh. You're not a dating service, eh? Well if I give you money and you send some guy then it's just semantics." Carol continues, "And could you shave his back and oil him up before you send him?"
Saturday May 31,
2003
Tags #scale back, #new brochure, #diplomatic immunity, #current, #future felonies, #poetic licence, #motor oil, #root beer
Transcript
The Boss and Dilbert are looking at the new product brochure. Dilbert says, "We might want to scale back some of the claims in our new brochure." The Boss asks, "Which ones?" Dilbert responds, "For example, where it says, 'provides diplomatic immunity against all current and future felonies.'" The Boss says, "That's just poetic license." Dilbert reads, "Turn used motor oil into root beer."
Thursday September 04,
2003
Tags #make exceptions, #created on seeing machines, #dead dinosaurs, #animal prodcuts, #naked, #electricity from oil
Transcript
Mike the Vegan. Mike: I use no animal products whatsoever! Dilbert: Your clothes were created on sewing machines that used electricity from coal and oil, and those come from dead dinosaurs. Mike: I need to start making exceptions.