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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #time to go, #working all night, #extra work, #not better off, #fixed mistakes, #duct tape, #chair, #uncanny, #duck tape cureall

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "It's seven o'clock, Ed. Time to call it a night." Ed replies, "I'm planning to work all night." Ed explains, "I'm not very bright so I work long hours to compensate." Dilbert says, "Ed, we're not better off when you do extra work." Ed says, "I'm not quite following your logic." Alice and Wally stand behind Dilbert. Dilbert says, "We all worked late undoing what you did yesterday." Dilbert continues, "We voted to duct-tape you to your chair." As they tape Ed to his chair, Alice says, "It's uncanny how many problems you can solve with duct tape." Wally says, "Sometimes I use it instead of underwear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #run, #workout tape, #scare

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Dilbert arrives at home and asks, "Okay, where are these so-called upholsterygeist?" Dogbert replies, "In the living room." Dilbert says, "You turn on the VCR, I'll get the Jane Fonda workout tape!" The chair runs away screaming, "Aaagh! The Exercist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #video, #tape, #tennis, #instruction

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Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and watching television. Dogbert says, "You've been watching this video tape over and over for days." Dilbert says, "These tennis instruction tapes are great. I can just feel my game improving as I watch." Dilbert continues, "In fact, I see no need to actually physically play the game ever again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bumped, #happy airline, #wonder, #duct tape, #section, #satisfaction, #company

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Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #elbonians, #yergi, #scrolls, #dog, #fall, #sky, #never, #shave, #duck, #literal, #interpret

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In Elbonia, Dogbert lies face-down in the mud in front of his crashed hover-saucer. An Elbonian points at him and says, "Look, Yergi." The Elbonian picks Dogbert up and says, "The Holy Scrolls say a dog will fall from the sky." The other Elbonian asks, "They do?" The Elbonian carrying Dogbert replies, "Actually, they say 'never shave your duck,' but it's not literal. You have to interpret." The other Elbonian asks, "You mean I CAN shave my duck?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #duck, #sled, #santa, #fell, #dropped, #head, #alive, #jolly, #elf, #holiday, #season, #myself, #gifts, #stole, #buried, #backyard, #wars, #venison, #taste

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The caption says, "'Twas the night before Christmas . . . " Santa Claus and his reindeer fly over the rooftops. The caption says, "When a duck hit the sled . . ." A duck crashes into Santa. The story continues, "Santa fell out . . ." Santa dives toward the ground. The caption continues, "And dropped on his head . . ." Santa crashes through the roof of a house. The caption continues, "He was barely alive, this jolly old elf . . ." Dogbert stands next to the fireplace. Santa lies on the floor near the Christmas tree. The caption continues, "'Twas the holiday season, so I thought of myself . . ." Dogbert says, "Hey! I don't see any gifts here!" The caption continues, "So I stole his hat and buried him in the back yard. The end." Dogbert walks through the back yard wearing Santa's hat and holding a shovel. Dogbert sits in his chair holding a book. He says, "Um . . . This is interesting, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "The sequel is titled 'Elf Wars: The Taste of Venison.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogbert day care, #progressive, #duct tape, #fortune

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "What exactly is the Dogbert Day Care concept?" Dogbert answers, "Progressive companies can provide day care without spending a bundle." The Boss reads Dogbert's plan and asks, "Wouldn't we spend a fortune on duct tape?" Dogbert replies, "It's reusable unless it gets slobbered on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #observe vp, #duck blind, #cubicle material, #subject flossing

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The boss and Asok are sitting and facing each other. The boss says: "Asok, I want you to observe our VP so we can figure out what our priorities are." The boss tells Asok :We've built a duck blind in his office using cubicle material." Asok is hiding in the duck blind covered with leaves at the top. The V.P. is at his desk flossing his teeth. Asok thinks: "10:28 A.M., the subject is flossing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bad performance review, #tape measure, #measure twice

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The boss is at a table flanked by Dilbert and Wally. The boss says, "My philosophy is: measure twice.." The boss continues, "Then cut twice, then uh..." Wally says, "Give the tape measure a bad performance review?" Dilbert giggles, "Hee hee!..Ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #tape pencil, #hand, #raise, #would be unethical, #ten percent, #hiccup damage, #moral compass

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Asok the Intern watches Wally taping a pencil to the hand of The Boss who is comatose. Wally says, "I'll tape a pencil to his hand and use it to sign off on a raise for me." Asok the Intern says to Wally, "That would be so unethical... hiccup. May I have ten percent?" Wally works on getting the pencil into the comatose Boss' hand as Asok says, "That hiccup damaged my moral compass."