Due Diligence Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

30 Results for Due Diligence

View 1 - 10 results for due diligence comic strips. Discover the best "Due Diligence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #class action law suit, #due diligence, #good employees, #merger, #projects are doomed, #secrets, #worth something

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "'Due diligence' before the merger." Alice sits at a table with a man who says, "You must reveal your secrets so my company knows what it's buying." Alice points to some documents in a binder and says, "All of our projects are doomed. Most of the good employees left. Our customers are starting a class action suit . . ." The man says, "At least the building is worth something." Alice points to her throat and says, "If you feel a tickle, that's asbestos."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #due diligence, #hidden issues, #bad time, #human buns

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to handle the due diligence for our alliance with the galactic protein corporation." The Boss says, "Find out if they have any hidden issues we should know about." Dilbert says, "Is this a bad time?" Human Buns

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #access, #due dilogence, #information, #maniacal laughter, #merger, #phase, #proprietary

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits across from two men from the buying company who are sitting on a couch. One man says, "In the 'due diligence' phase of our merger you will give us access to all of your proprietary information." The Boss asks, "Wouldn't that let you know how to crush us competitively? Couldn't you cancel the merger and take our customers without paying a cent?" As the two men struggle to control themselves, they think, "Must . . . contain maniacal . . . laugh . . ."

Robot Lawyer Has Comments

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Lawyer Has Comments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #robot, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any comments on the contract I emailed to you? Robot: Adjudicate the continuance of due diligence until an injunction repudiates the covenants. Dilbert: I was hoping for comments that make sense. Robot: You're thinking of a more expensive robot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #need input, #worked backward, #due date

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I worked backward from the project due date and calculated that we'll need your input on this date. Dilbert: You have me finishing two weeks before I start. Man: Let's schedule a time to talk about that. Dilbert: Sure. How about two weeks ago?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #murder, #forever, #safe, #optimist, #pessimist, #1957, #due

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Our town hasn't had a murder since 1957." The caption says, "Definition of an optimist." Dilbert thinks, "We're safe forever." The caption says, "Definition of a pessimist." Dogbert thinks, "We're due."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baby, #Dilbert, #woman, #due, #diet, #Wally, #question, #next

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks a pregnant woman, "When's the baby due?" The woman says, "Baby? What baby?" The woman continues, "Can't a woman go off her diet for one day without getting that question??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead. The woman thinks, "Next . . ." Wally asks, "So, when's the baby due?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #move project, #due date, #reach objective, #perfromance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Wally, I've decided to move your project due date up a month." Wally responds angrily, "Every time it looks like I'll reach an objective, you move it! What does this prove about my performance?" The Boss answers, "It proves I'm better at setting objectives than you are at achieving them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disturbing pattern, #soultions, #problems, #try last, #old rags, #due respect

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I've noticed a distrubing pattern. Your solutions to problems are always the things you try last." Alice says, "With all due respect, are you using your skull to store old rags or what?" The Boss says to Alice as she leaves her office, "It's a good thing you said, 'With all due respect.'" Alice rols her eyes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #doesn't know, #being insulted, #with all due respect, #intangible benefits, #insulting, #monkey face

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"