Each Unit Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

243 Results for Each Unit

View 1 - 10 results for each unit comic strips. Discover the best "Each Unit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2001's comic on:

Tags #save money, #each unit, #idea, #vp, #beter ideas, #fist of death, #something hits me, #alice punches

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol sits in her cubicle saying to the Boss, "...and that way we'll save money on each unit we build." The Boss replies, "Let's try that idea with our VP." Alice and the Boss sit in front of the VP. The VP says, "Wow. Great idea. Who thought of it?" Alice and the Boss both sit looking pleased. The Boss says, "Well, I have to admit..." The Boss continues, "It's one of my better ideas." Alice sits totally shocked. Alice stands furious and shaking, thinking, "Must...control...fist of death." The Boss continues, "Sometimes I'll just be standing there..." Alice thinks, "GAAA!" as the Boss continues, "And POW! Something hits me." Alice and the VP stand on either side of the Boss' legs up in the air. Alice says, "Thank you." The VP holds out her shaking hand and says, "I tried to control it but I couldn't."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2011's comic on:

Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2012's comic on:

Tags #anger, #discrimination, #Women, #containment unit, #steel vault, #Men, #co workers, #job, #condesending, #freak out, #death, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1994's comic on:

Tags #phone poll, #Dogbert, #voting twice, #each call costs, #money making, #opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

"People are so stupid they should pay me to listen to their opinions." "If you disagree, you can call my phone poll at 555-Dog-BERT. Each call costs two dollars." "I'm voting twice."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1996's comic on:

Tags #all year, #asok the intern, #awards, #built unit, #design, #minor change, #weekend, #working, #half cost

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Asok the Intern." Dilbert, Alice, Asok and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I came in over the weekend and looked at the design you've been working with all year." Asok continues, "It turns out that you could have built the unit at half the cost with just one minor change." Asok continues, "Is it true I can win awards for this sort of thing?" Alice whispers to Wally, "Fetch the internapult."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1997's comic on:

Tags #work, #anti work, #unit of work, #generated unnecessary work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Wally says, "This week I did equal amounts of work and anti-work." Wally continues, "For every unit of work I did, I generated an equal amount of unnecessary work for co-workers. I figure I broke even." The Boss says, "Wally, come see me after the staff meeting." Wally replies, "Oh, great. You're driving me into negative territory."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1997's comic on:

Tags #each photo, #universe, #tiny skull, #going to explode, #tarpaulin, #rat talks garbageman

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on a garbage can and says, "So... each photon is a universe.. then mass is just a probability cluster?" THe trash man says, "That's how I see it." Ratbert holds his head in his hands like it's about to explode and says, "Wow! I think my tiny skull is so full it's going to explode." The garbage man says holds a plastic bag of trash and says, "Let me get a tarpaulin." Dogbert walks up and says, "Have you been talking to our garbage man again?" Ratbert sits on a canvas tarp and holds his head. He says, "Don't get too close."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1998's comic on:

Tags #personal habitat, #cubicle, #less cluttered, #personal storage unit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Wally, "Your cubicle has been replaced with a 'personal habitat.'" Dogbert stands on the cubicle desk and says, "It's exactly like your cubicle but much less cluttered." Wally holds the garbage can up and says, "Hey, all my stuff is in the trash can!" Dogbert says, "That's a funny thing to call your personal storage unit."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1999's comic on:

Tags #dogberts tech support, #serial number, #inside unit, #warranty void, #open case, #anything changes

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert sits at a computer and talks on the phone. Dogbert says, "I'll need your serial number, which is conveniently located inside the unit. The man on the other end of the phone says, "The sticker says my warranty will be void if I open the case." DOgbert says, "Well, call me if anything changes."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2002's comic on:

Tags #burned down, #customer headquaters, #employee screws up, #performance reviews, #demo unit

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"